Hailee x Reader one-shots

⚠️Helping Nadine⚠️

A/N: Nadine x Reader

Requested by: -Crecrxzy

⚠️TW⚠️: Self-doubt, suicidal thoughts.

Summary: Nadine has a panic attack and Y/n comforts her and helps her.

WE DID IT! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 10K! I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH <3

HERE WE GO!

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Nadine's POV:

I really am struggling right now and I hate it, I can't sleep and sad videos keep coming up on my TikTok and it's making me even more sad, I really want to be with my girlfriend right now but I can't. Cause it's 2:42 in the morning so, she's probably asleep right now and I'm on my floor, crying. Wanting to just not live anymore as there is nothing that this world offers. The world offers nothing but ache, struggle, trust (even if it is underserved), love (which barely anyone is lucky with as people who love you can turn out to be the person who leaves you at your worst), and the most powerful one of all. Loss. If that's with a friend, or a family member, or a lover, or someone walking out on you. It will forever be the worst feeling off anyone's life.

And an even bigger one - for me anyway - is that people expect me to continue on in my life, and be happy and smile every single second of my life when in reality. I am in pain, and hurt. And I have to live with me for the rest of my life. The world doesn't offer that much, especially when almost most of it is to do with emotion and the most main emotion is hurt and sadness. You're heart grows with each person you know and breaks more and more with each person who leaves. 

It's simple if you think about it.

The world - a place filled with chaos, destruction and heartache as well as love, laughs and joyous occasions - can easily be forgotten about and wished away after one slip-up in someone's life.

I hear my phone buzz and look over to see a reminder that I've been a whole of 56 days self-harm free. What a great time. I sigh at this and swipe it away going onto mine and Y/n's chat. I go to text her and type out:

"Can you come over? I'm really upset right now." But decide to delete it. I go to type again, "I wish you were here with me cause I really need you." But once again, delete it. Before settling on: "You up?"

I wait a few minutes and when I go to chuck my phone, I hear it buzz and look to see a text from Y/n, why isn't she asleep? She's normally asleep? What's going on with her?

"Yeah, I'm struggling to sleep. What's up?" Do I tell her?

"Same here." I reply, shit, that was a bad move.

"You sure? I can come over if you want? Maybe we can both sleep then?" OH! HELL YES! 

"Yes. Yes. Please. I sorta need you."

"Sorta? Wow, how rude of you, Franklin." She replies, I laugh at this quietly while a few tears fall.

"Okay, I really need you"

"Like really badly." I send to her, 

"You okay?"

"No. But if you come quickly then I'll be in good hands." I tell her, 

"Okay, let me put my shoes on and I'll be on my way." She texts me.

Did I just make a mistake? I probably did, didn't I? SHIT! Why do I always do this?! I always do this to myself. I always make someone do the effort and I hate it! God, I'm such a fricken idiot!  Can I just grab a knife from the kitchen and get it over and done with? I mean come on, it's not gonna bother anyone. I mean the blood might be a little bit of a eugh and a struggle to clean up but hey, at least it won't be me doing it— actually, well... I'd feel bad. Especially if it had to be like, Y/n, or something. I lift my head up before letting it fall, hitting against the carpet. I continue to do this for a bit before I hear a buzz. I look over at my phone to see that it's from Y/n and she's leaving. She only really lives like a few minutes away— well, I say a few minutes when really it's like 3-4 minutes away. Thankfully, honestly, otherwise who knows what would be going on.

***

Okay, so, things escalated really quickly, it's been like 5 minutes and I can't seem to control my breathing, I can't stop crying, my heart is going at 100 miles a second, I feel like every thought is rushing to my brain and I really just want to go downstairs and end it all but every time I try too; my body just doesn't move and it's angering me! Why can't I fucking move?!

I hear a window open and roll away from the window knowing that it was Y/n but I feel her sit me up and rub my back as I move between her legs and into her touch. 

"Shhh, it's okay, baby." She whispers to me softly, running her hand through my hair as she turns me around to her, I hug into her tightly and she holds a deathly grip on me. "What's wrong, my love?" She asks me softly while I continue to sob into her arms and try to control my breathing but I can't seem to breathe. She rubs my back, "It's okay, it's okay." She tells me, I shove her away.

"It's not! It's not fucking okay!" I reply to her, moving away from her and running my hands through my hair, trying to think of something different, I feel her arms wrap around my waist and I try to get out of it,

"N— stop it. Nadine, stop. Just calm down—"

"Leave me alone." I sob out, trying to push her away but she takes both of my hands and holds them close to her,

"I'm not gonna go anywhere, baby." She tells me softly, "I just want to help you." She expresses to me softly, "You just have to let me in, you can't keep pushing people away." She continues on to say, 

"I don't—"

"Nadine." She speaks softly, moving closer and continues to hold my hands, she places a kiss on the back of my hands, "I know that you are hurting and you can't seem to think because there are so many thoughts and you don't like how you have to live with yourself for the rest of your life cause you can't wrap your head around the idea of anything that is remotely happy. But you have me, you have me and I want to take care of you. Let me. Just take a breath and continue to let it out all out and once you feel as if everything is out. I will try everything to make you feel better." She explains to me, I lean into her arms and she quickly wraps her arms around me, letting me sob into her arms. I try to calm down and calm my breathing but I can't exactly help it. She rubs my back and doesn't say anything, letting me let everything out.

"I—I'm so—sorry..." I sob out,

"It's okay." She breathes out,

"No, no— i—it's not—"

"Nadine—"

"Let me talk." I push, moving away from the hug, I try to calm my breathing down yet I can't seem to catch my breath,

"Take your time, it's okay. There's no rush." She assures me, rubbing my back. We both take deep breath's in and I soon manage to calm down. I'm really glad she's here, helping me out with this.

"I—I'm sorry for pushing you away and I feel really bad for making you have to deal with this. It shouldn't be your responsibility." I express to her, she shakes her head and pats her chest, I lean into her chest and she wraps her arms around me again and holds me securely.

"I just want to tell you that I don't mind doing this, I don't. If you need me to be here while you want to cry, I'm just a text away. I don't mind. I'll run here if you want me too. During a storm, the rain, the snow, anything. I'll do it. But you don't have to hide your feelings from me." She expresses to me, "Please, don't hide from me." She mumbles quietly, placing a kiss on top of my head. Rubbing my back. She scoops me up in her arms and lies down on my bed with me on top of her, she kisses my head here and there and runs her hand through my hair. I slowly feel myself fall asleep as whenever I have a panic attack, I feel really sleepy afterwards. I'm just glad Y/n's here.

"Goodnight, baby." She whispers softly to me, "I love you." I hear her mumble quietly, I grin at this and slowly feel myself fall asleep in the arms of Y/n and when I finally manage to fall asleep, I have a really nice dream of us on the beach, having a little picnic. 

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