"Sameer, mujhe darr lag raha hai ab." Naina began to speak with terror notifying her scared soul, and Sameer didn't interrupt, letting his wife deal with her hidden turmoil.
"Kahi main pregnant ho gayi toh?" She said in a low voice and his eyes widened with shock marring his face.
"Pregnant? How's that possible?" He asked her while frowning in perplexity.
"Abhi shower lene ke time we did that without using protection, aur mere periods ko aaj jake shayad 20 din hue hai, so it's a high risk. I can conceive." Naina explained to her clueless husband with swollen red eyes, and Sameer took quick-unstable breaths in realization.
He sewed his scared eyes in utter resentment as to how he could be careless regarding such a delicate matter. He knew Naina isn't ready for pregnancy yet he forgot to use protection while making love to her.
"Naina, calm down, aisa kuch nahi hoga." Sameer tried to console his woman.
"Aur agar ho gaya toh?" Naina asked him with explicit eerie in her meek tone and for this question, he had no convincing answer.
Sameer sat there silently, blinking his eyes consecutively which were burning out of dread of the forthcoming hurdles. He doesn't have any problem if Naina gets pregnant without planning and intentions but he knows his wife isn't ready for it right now owing to her clumsy and inattentive nature, and he respects her decision. But what about the mistake he had made in the zest of loving her? What about the blunder they both had made out of excitement? He wasn't able to think of any way which could console her restless soul and multiplying unanswered questions.
"Sameer, main janti hoon I am overreacting but I don't want to take any risk. I am not ready at all, please do something." Naina pleaded with her flummoxed husband in a tender voice while letting tears escape her doleful eyes.
"Kuch nahi hoga, trust me," Sameer said in a soft voice.
"I don't know anything but I don't want my baby to think uski mumma kitni buri hai, uska sahi se dhyan bhi nahi rakh pati, use ache se pyar bhi nahi de rahi baki moms ki tarah. I wanna be a good mom, Sameer, and for that I need time, I can't begin to love my baby out of immaturity. Main mature nahi hoon abhi tak, na capable hoon ek nayi zimmedari lene ke layak." Naina spoke with guilt obvious in her voice while expressing her self-consciousness.
"Shhh, bas karo...you trust god, haina?" Sameer dealt with his wife like a baby and she bobbed her head.
"Toh daro mat itna, jo hoga ache ke liye hi hoga, agar humari life me baby ka aana likha hoga toh aa jayega woh warna baad me aayega. Why are you crying, it's god's gift toh please don't disrespect it." He said solemnly while stroking his icy-cold fingers on her silk lavender purple nightsuit.
"Main disrespect nahi kar rahi hoon yaar, mujhe bhi bache bahut pasand hain but main khud ko bhi janti hoon achi tarah se. I am such a careless woman. Mujhse kuch sahi se nahi hota hai, tumne dekha tha na kal raat ko kaise mere dress me slit aa gayi thi aur mujhe toh pata bhi nahin chala tha." Naina replied to her husband with grief and anger in her voice regarding her incautious demeanor, and Sameer decided to share one of the concealed secrets with his wife to ease her uneasiness and growing fear.
"Tumhe pata hai Naina, meri aai jab pregnant huwi thi mere time tab unhone abortion karwane ka soch liya tha." He spoke with a sorrowful smile and her soaked eyes went enlarged in utmost shock.
"She didn't want to carry me inside her womb because unhone shivi tai ke time bhi bahut physical pain tolerate kiya tha, aur woh nahi chahti thi unka dusra bacha bhi wahi dukh dard se guzre, but then she didn't dare to abort me. Unhone na chahte hue bhi mujhe nau mahine apni kokh me rakha har zillat seh kar bhi, mehnat ki bahut khud ka pet bharne ke liye...meri bhuk mitane ke liye. Woh bhi aise hi dari hogi tumhari tarah us time, par khair unki toh situation kaafi complicated thi. Yahan toh main hoon tumhare saath, hum dono ka parivaar hai humare saath, hum financially bhi stable hai aise toh, koi kami nahi hogi, but still you're afraid. Socho phir meri aai ne kaise nau mahine tak mera dhyan rakha hoga?" Sameer calmly told the painful tale to his sniveling wife while restraining his warm teardrops, and Naina tried to breathe normally but her husband's past story shook her harder with the noise of cracks resonating in her ears at just the mere thought of Savitri killing an innocent human inside her womb because of financial instability and Kamlesh's brutal behavior.
