Thunder's Throne Pt 2!

Your Once Sad Heart

*Weeks go by and you all slowly get back to normal. You stop crying at the sight of Alex's or the girls room. Bucky finally is able to put Everly's doll in her room and actually leave it there. The kids talk fondly about the time with them and even Joshua and Matthew are adjusting to the new normal. You joke about how the kids first met the family and how crazy it's was. All the stories Alex told to keep from telling the truth. How he made Matthew and Joshua wear face altering tech to make them look more like Nat and less like Steve in hopes that they wouldn't be noticed when they first jumped to this universe.*
Joshua- it was really itchy!
*Nat smiles and ruffles his blonde hair*
Nat- well I miss your red hair! *She kisses his forehead and he laughs. Remembering the good times made the bad times almost disappear.. almost*

*The kids go back to school and the team as a whole starts going on missions again, everything is exactly as it should be... except you and Bucky. Losing the kids did something to the fire between you two. Sure he kisses you in the mornings and sometimes joins you in the shower. Cops a feel as he slides behind you in the kitchen, but it's not like it was before. You would start out hot and heavy but then something pulls inside you and there is a sadness that overwhelms you when you two are alone. Remembering how much you've lost and how much more is to come, you just hold each other until you fall asleep, unsatisfied but feeling loved all the same.*

*You kiss Bucky's neck as you lean I've the back of the couch where he is sitting. He turns his head and pulls your lips to his as You run your hands down his chest. You give his pecks a little squeeze and he laughs against your lips. You smile and hum as you pull back, you give him your best bedroom eyes and he gets the hint pretty quickly.*
Bucky- you want to? *He gently smiles and you nod. He stands up and pulls you into his arms. Kissing you as he walks you back to the bed and lays you down. He kisses down your body and starts to leave love bites along your hips. You smile as you feel butterflies in your stomach at the feeling of his lips against your skin. Suddenly you feel sad, your body stiffens and Bucky stops his trail down your body. He lays beside you  and kisses you before he pulls you close.*
Bucky- I love you, y/n. *He knows something wrong but he doesn't ask what. He doesn't want to make you cry so he leaves you in wherever your thoughts have taken you. That almost hurts more than the sadness. With each passing day you see Bucky parent and be the most loving and doting Husband that you feel that familiar fire start to build a little more and it seems to squelch the sadness enough that you are ready to get back to normal. Ready to be happy again.*
Nat- earth to y/n *She waves her hand in front of your face.* hey I've been talking this whole time have you even been listening?!
*You look at her and give an apologetic smile.*
Y/N- Sorry, lost in thought. Say it all again.
Nat- I was saying that Shuri called and said Lilly is doing great. Her parents have finally decided to come back home; seeing as she is in the best care where she is.
*You nod and squeeze Nat's hand.*
Y/N- thank you, Nat.
*You sit there with her until you just have to ask.*
Y/N- Nat? How are you and Steve? Like... sexually. *Nat laughs a little* I only ask because Bucky and I- we are going through a dry spell since-
*Nat can see in your face that this isn't just a couple weeks type of dry spell.*
Nat- how dry?? *She asks*
Y/N- like the Sahara. We haven't had sex since before the kids left. We've been intimate but we haven't actually done anything. Anytime we get close I-
It's me and it's my fault.
*Nat scrunches her brow*
Nat- why do you say that?
Y/N- because every time I start to enjoy myself I-
Nat- you think you shouldn't.  *You meet her gaze with hopeful eyes. Like maybe she's been there before.* yeah Steve and I had a similar dry spell after as well.
Y/N- well what happened?!
Nat- you mean what got the river flowing again? *You laugh and nod* as weird as this is going to sound, just hang with me. I thought about their older selves finding out that Steve and I had grow apart after they left and I realized how devastated they would be to know one of the worst events to happen in their lives caused it. They'd want us to find a way to be happy again. *You smile a little and you hear someone walk in behind you.*
Steve- hey, what are you two talking about? *He teases and Nat kisses him, knowing he heard every word.*
Nat- none of your business. *She smirks and then winks at you.* I'm going to take a nap before I go to pick up the kids at the bus stop* She takes your hand before she walks away.*  find a way, y/n. You have every right to be happy again.
*She leaves you there in the kitchen, Steve there with you. Steve looks you over and he can tell you aren't alright. Well that and the conversation he just had with Bucky proves things aren't alright.*