Thomas Sanders Sides OneShots

Flirty Patton - Patton x Logan

Trigger warning: inappropriate jokes, sexual implications

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Roman sauntered into the living room, placing a bunch of bottles onto the coffee table. Patton looked up from his coloring book and gasped, sitting up and staring at the colourful drinks.

"What's that?" Patton asked putting the coloring to one side. "Oh, greetings Patton! These are a few-"

"ROMAN!" Virgil yelled from somewhere in the mind. Romans head turned in the direction of the call, "sorry Patton, beauty calls" he winked at Patton and dashed out of the room. Patton chuckled and crawled on his knees to the table, sitting up on his legs and staring at the colorful liquid.

Patton glanced towards the door, he didn't hear or see Roman coming so he grabbed a pink bottle, the liquid swooshed around and Patton smiled. "It won't kill me" he mumbled, taking off the lid and downing some of the drink.

Taking the bottle away from his lips he smiled, the flavour tasting amazing. Glancing down the hallway again to make sure the coast was clear he drank the rest of the drink, grinning afterwards.

He sat back on the couch, reaching for his book but stopped, suddenly feeling very flirty. His lips pulled back into a grin and he basically skipped towards Logan's room, opening his door and peeking his head around.

"Heeeeyyy Logyyy" he giggled, walking in and closing the door. Logan looked up from his book, an eyebrow risen.

"Good afternoon, Love" Logan replied, putting his book down. Patton slowly walked over, plonking down on Logan's lap and wrapping his arms around his neck. Logan knew this, if Patton held his arms around his neck his arms go around his waist, and that's what he did.

"Logan?" He giggled, "wanna hear a joke?"

Logan sighed, another Dad joke. "Of course"

Patton started giggling before he even said anything, "How is a woman like a road?" He asked, grinning widely.

"Hmm, some are straight and others are bendy? Figuratively speaking about sexual orientation-"

"Because they both have man holes!" He answered, laughing. Logan stared at him in shock, not expecting for Patton to make such an explicit joke.

"Wanna hear another?" Patton giggled, pulling himself closer to Logan.

"Uhh-" Patton cut him off.

"What do you call two men fighting over a slut?" He grinned widely, Logan stared at him like he was crazy.

"Tug-of-whore!" Patton laughed.

"I think that's enough, Patton" Logan said, his voice slightly stern. Something must've happened to make Patton like this, damn Roman and his need to put his potions everywhere!

"Aw! Why? Can't take it any longer?" Patton giggled, Logan shook his head and Patton frowned, trailing his hands up and down Logan's back.

"You're so hot" Patton mumbled, smiling again. Logan blushed and cleared his throat.

"Th-thank you-"

"So hot that I could totally ravish you right now" Patton grinned, kissing his neck softly. Logan would be lying if he said he wasn't the slightest bit turned on.

"Patton, please" Logan mumbled, not really knowing what to do. Patton hummed against his neck, the potion slowly wearing off. He suddenly sat up on Logan's lap, staring at him for a few seconds, very confused until he gasped.

"You can teleport people!?"

"No, Patton-"

"ROMAN! VIRGIL!" Patton screamed, jumping up and running out of the room. "LOGAN CAN TELEPORT PEOPLE!"

Logan sighed and pinched his nose, shaking his head.

"Oh, Patton..."

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Random question, does anyone have any song recommendations?

EXTRA JOKE I FOUND HILARIOUS: What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?

Your job still sucks.

I AM DECEASED 😂😂

Thanks for the request!

also, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

THANK YOOOU!!!