His

CHAPTER 104

Rins P.O.V.
My past had come to haunt me.

Starring at the window,I felt nothing but agony and regret.

Why...

Why did I have to go through all of this.i thought gazing at the moon.

This pain,this heartache...it wasn't fair.why was I the one who had to face everything.

All I wanted was to be okay on the inside.but instead,regret and agony tore at my heart.its like it was being shredded into a million pieces all over again.but this time it was all my fault.

I couldn't protect my clan.

I killed Itachi...

Why did I have to exist.i thought as I clenched my fists.

This wasn't fair.my fate was decided when he gave those orders out....when the third hokage,decided to ruin my life.

It wasn't Itachis fault.it was mine.if I were never born,the Uchiha could've avoided there massacre.everyone would still be here if it wasn't for me.

Everything's my fault.

I raised my fist,and smashed it into the wall.

How pathetic!even after I promised myself to stop crying over every little thing!

And here I am!doing it again!

"Damn it.."I whispered to myself as i clenched my jaw tight and squeezed my eyes shut.

How do I stop this pain in my heart.

It hurts!it hurts so bad...and I can't do anything about it!

I'm helpless...

I'm weak...

I'm...

Nothing...

This pain...it would only stop if I were dead...

If i killed myself.....

....what would that do to Obito..Sasuke..I didn't know if my death would matter to Madara.it would most likely only effect his plan.

Even so...if I did kill myself...

My grip tightened as I placed my forehead against the wall.

Death would make me happy in a way that could only speak to me.but it was selfish in the eyes of others.Obito,I cared for him so much,just like he does for me.

And Sasuke...he depended on me to be there for him.but I...

"What do I do."I whispered as tears fell from my eyes.

"What's wrong with me!"I yelled bringing my head back and smashing it into the wall.

There's nothing I can do!i can't leave!but I want to so bad!I could've avoided killing Itachi!i could've avoided everything!If only I died in my last battle,I wouldn't be feeling this!if only Pain had made sure my heart stopped beating I wouldn't be feeling like this anymore!

I yelled as I banged my head against the wall again.

"What do I do!"I yelled to myself.

I can't figure anything out!im useless!

"That's why i hate you!you hear me!i hate you with everything I have!"I yelled to myself as I did it again,and again.

I felt the hot stream of blood beginning to seep down.but I didn't care!i deserved to feel like this anyway!

If I can't protect the people I love then might as well give myself a punishment.I don't deserve to be alive!yet here I am!why was this!why am I here!

I should be dead!i should be forgotten!

"WHY AM I HERE!"

Why did everything have to happen to me!i was the one who let everyone die!

I'm a disgrace to the Uchiha!

I shouldn't have this last name!i shouldn't be wearing this crest on my back!

The pain in my heart only increased as i kept banging my head.one hit after another.I can't seem to forgive myself.what I did was to great of a sin.killing my own kind.turning a blind eye to the massacre of my...no...the Uchiha clan.

Someone like me...

Shouldn't deserve to be alive anymore.

I brought my head back,this time slowly.

I would make this would count for all the people who were dead because of me.i wish this could be the end..but..so far I could only give you this...my pain..

I brought myself forward.

I expected to hit the wall.but I never did.instead my head had landed on the palm of a gloved hand.I slowly opened my eyes and looked up.

I blinked.

No..what was he doing..I deserved this..he thought the same right?so why was he stopping me!

"What are you doing."he said.

My eyes fell to the small drops of blood below me.

Madara...

Your not suppose to see me like this.i thought as I began to cry out loud.

"Y-you have t-to leave."I stuttered.

He was seeing my weak side again,and I hated it!

"I'm f-fine here s-so just go!"I shouted as I sank to my knees.

Madara looked to the lightly blood stained wall and then back to me.

Damn it!he thought the same thing to!he knew I shouldn't even be called an Uchiha!he knew that I was pathetic and weak!he knew everything!and if he chooses to-

"Madara.."i cried.

"You know don't you..."

I shouldn't be here..you know it to."

"I'm sorry!I'm sorry!i couldn't stop Itachi from killing our clan!I'm sorry that I killed him in spite of hate!everythings my fault!and I know you hate me for it!"I yelled as I crawled to him.

"I-I'm sorry.."My hands grabbed ahold of his leg.i needed his forgiveness..I began to sob.

This was all that I could do.

Cry like a helpless child.

I wasn't going to be what my father wanted me to be..I couldn't be the greatest kunoichi of my time.and for that,this pain in my heart was the cruel punishment I received.

Itachi...my parents...my clan...everything.

All gone.it was devoured,never to be seen again.

It was all my fault.and I couldn't change anything.

I leaned my body on his leg.if this man thought the same way that I did about myself.then there wasn't any point in living.

I don't care how anybody would feel.

I would put an end to myself now if-

"Rin.."

Hearing Madara say my name made my heart beat faster,"I don't know what your thinking,but you are greatly mistaken."

"Nothing was your fault."he said with a hint of anger.

I shook my head,"IT IS MY FAULT!CANT YOU SEE IT!!YOU WER'NT THERE WHEN IT HAPPENED!I....."I trailed off when I started to cry once again.

"I didn't have to be there to know."he said.

I looked up and stared into his eyes,Madara did the same,looking into mine.

"Blaming yourself, for something you had no control of is injudicious."he said.

Does he really believe that?about me?that it wasn't my fault?

Why?