Destiel One Shots With a Few Cockles

God Makes A Group Chat

Supernatural beings and humans:

Dean- Why am I here?

God- because you are

Sam- what is this?

God- a group chat?

Lucifer- yeah no shit

Castiel- what's he doing here?

God- suck it up Cas, you're not the only one he's possessed.

Gabriel- wow dad, didn't think you had it in you to put one of us back in place.

Michael- why did you give us phones in the cage?

God- cuz, stop asking questions

Crowley- squirrel, what happened to you, thought you liked being a demond with all the powers and with the mark of cane of corse

Dean- I did like it but then I nearly killed Cas

Lucifer- Dean always protecting little Castiel. The broken, weak Castiel

God- Lucifer, you may of been my favourite ark angel but you weren't my fave angel out of them all

Michael- obviously it was me

God- Michael, stop being a smug dick for two mins, it wasn't u

Gabriel- was it me then?

God- no, you turned ur back on heaven

Gabriel- I didn't want to be included in the fights

God- not an excuse, I trusted you to run it while I was gone.

Gabriel I TRYED, DAD, BUT MICHAEL KICKED ME OUT!!!

God- Michael? Is this true?

Michael- what no, I would never do that to a brother

Michael- yes, yes I did

Lucifer- who is ur fave, dad?

God- who do you think?

Lucifer- me?

God- I JUST SAID IT WASN'T YOU?

God- oh myself

Michael- who is it then cuz I will kill them.

God- it's Castiel and you won't kill him cuz ur in the cage and I'll just bring him back

Castiel- HA SUCK IT, LUCIFER, MICHAEL, METATRON, HANNAH, NIOMI, GADREEL AND EVERY ONE ELSE THAT TRIED TO KILL ME OR LEFT ME

Crowley- why not Gabriel?

Castiel- he's the only one I like

Gabriel- thanks little bro

Castiel- don't call me that

Gabriel- ok Cassy

God- top annoying your brother, Gabe 

Gabriel- fine

Dean- what came first the chicken or the egg?

God- oh no, not again

Gabriel- you can asked Lucifer about that one

Lucifer- I MADE THE CHICKEN FIRST, NOT THE EGG. WHAT FERTALISED THE EGG? HUH? YOU NEED ANOTHER CHICKEN. ALSO, SCIENTIFICALLY, THE EGG HAS STUFF, I CAN'T REMEMBER THE WORD FOR IT, THAT ONLY CHICKENS CAN PRODUCE, THERE FOUR, THE CHICKEN CAME FIRST

Castiel- Dean, babe, where are you?

Dean- in the kitchen

Castiel- get ur ass here then

Dean- where are you?

Castiel- in our room

Dean- I'm on my way

Lucifer- 😐

Gabriel- 😐

God- 😐

Sam- what

Crowley- 😐

Michael- 😐

God- not gonna lie, did not see that coming any time soon

God- oh hell, Lucifer, you made me dirty minded

Lucifer- sorry, not sorry

Sam- are my brother and best friend fucking?

Gabriel- idk, go and see

Sam- I'm good, I don't want to see

Dean sent a photo
Cas on the bed in a tight top and skinny jeans. He has a blue tie on and a pair of handcuffs in one hand, holding them up. He had a devilish smirk plastered on his face. He was sat on his legs, parted

God- FUCK, DEAN, WE DON'T NEED TO SEE THAT.

Lucifer- Cas, when did you become so kinky?

Dean- he's always this kinky, I'm going to get fucked now

God- and this is what happens when I leave earth unattended