Living on a Mountain with my Husband

Chapter 39: APOLOGY

Returning to the Li's house they met a group of strong men.

"LongWei your back.come and meet the men I found to work for you. These guys are all trustworthy and reliable. I guarantee they'll work hard." Old man !I said as he began introducing each person to LongWei. While this was happening Mrs Li pulled Zimo into the house.

"XiaoMo, I'll be making some roe deer tonight. Do you want to help? I can show you a great way that guarantees soft and tender meat." Mrs Li said as she pulled Zimo over to the kitchen. However just as she was about to open the door to the kitchen Zimo pulled away in a bit of a panic.

"XiaoMo?" Mrs Li looked back and Zimo confused. She had not seen him behave so roughly before.

"Sorry, Mrs Li. I can't cook." Zimo said, not wanting to say more. But Mrs Li did not get the hint.

"You can't cook? Then who cooks when your up in the mountains? It isn't LongWei, is it?" Mrs Li questioned with disapproval. "Zimo you can't do that. Come in the kitchen and I'll teach you. You need to help. It can't be easy for LongWei to cook every meal and hunt." Mrs Li continued.

Zimo understood what she meant. It's not that he didn't want to cook, he couldn't go anywhere near fire. Zimo's expression grew dark.

"I'm sorry, I really can't cook." Zimo said once more trying to avoid explaining why.

"Nonsense, everyone can cook with practice." Mrs Li said once more grabbing Zimo's arm.

In a panic Zimo pulled his arm away again. This time however, he was very rough and knocked Mrs Li over. He hadn't meant to. Realizing what he had done, he wanted to apologize. He didn't hate Mrs Li, and he definitely did not want to hurt her. Seeing Mrs Li on the ground on her knees after falling, he felt incredibly guilty. Unable to hold back his tears he apologized.

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. Mrs Li I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. Don't hate us. I'm sorry. Sniff... Mrs Li... sorry...sniff."

A few moments later Zimo, like a guilty child Zimo knelt down next to Mrs Li. He wanted to help her up, but was afraid he might make her angrier. LongWei and him owed the Li's a lot. They had been very kind and caring towards them. Yet, Zimo had actually knocked Mrs Zi down. "What should I do? What if she hates us now. What if they don't want to have anything to do with us? Will LongWei be angry at me, too. He's known old man Li for so long. If my actions ruin the relationship..." Zimo thought. He had start to spiral down a very dark thought pattern.

Mrs Li knelt down on the ground. At first she thought Zimo was only nervous about learning to cook. But his reaction was much stronger than she expected. Taken aback by Zimo suddenly pulling away she lost her balance and fell.

She wasn't hurt, or angry. Just a little confused. "Why would he be so against cooking?" She thought. Than she heard Zimo apologize. Looking up at the young man large tears flowing down his pale cheeks, her heart ached.

Before she could right the situation LongWei and old man Li came over. Seeing Zimo crying LongWei quickly acted. He pulled Zimo in his arms.

"Baby, what happened? Are you hurt?" He asked gently while wiping the tears from his eyes.

"I'm sorry. Sniff... hurt Mrs Li. I'm sorry." Zimo said as he look back at Mrs Li.

Old man Li went to hep Mrs Li up confused.

"Wife, what happened? Are you hurt?" He asked giving her a quick once over.

"I'm fine. Zimo you don't need to apologize. I should not have tried to pull you just now." She said, showing her usual kind smile.

Seeing Mrs Li acting the same as usual, Zimo began to cry harder. He had done something wrong. To be forgiven so easily was unbelievable.

LongWei held Zimo tight, rubbing his back and trying to calm him down. It was clear Zimo was dealing with a burst of emotions. So he excused them and entered the bedroom with Zimo.

"Sorry, Mrs Li, old man Li. I'll talk with Zimo first and calm him down." He said as they left.

Old man Li looked at Mrs Li confused.

"What happened?" He asked.

"I'm not sure, but I might have wronged XiaoMo just now." Mrs Li said trying to think about the reason Zimo react so strongly when she mentioned cooking.

....

In the room, Zimo had finally calmed down.

"Baby, what happened?" LongWei patiently asked.

"I messed up. Mrs Li wanted to help, but I pushed her instead. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt her." Zimo said feeling guilty.

"Why did you push her?"

"That is... I didn't want to, but..."
"Baby, whatever the reason it's okay to tell me. I won't be upset. I'll help you apologize and fix it. Don't worry and tell me what happened."

"Mrs Li wanted to teach me how to cook. I said I couldn't,  but she insisted it wasn't hard and she would teach me." Zimo said pausing to check LongWei's reaction.

LongWei looked back at Zimo, kissed him on the forehead and asked, "what happened next?"

"I tried to pull away from Mrs Li's grasp. I used too much strength and knocked her down. I didn't mean to hurt her really. I just, the kitchen was right in front, and I can't go in, the fire is burning inside, I...I..." Zimo answered trying his hardest to explain that it was an accident.

"You couldn't help it, if you had gone in the kitchen you would have another panic attack like you did before. Knocking Mrs Li down, was not the best solution. However I know you didn't mean it. Let's go out and properly explain what happened. Okay?" LongWei said, he had guessed how Zimo reacted being led into the kitchen.

Zimo might not realize it, but LongWei had noticed how Zimo's body stiffens when he is close to the kitchen at home. It was one of the reasons LongWei wasn't a hundred percent confident in making it through the winter safely. Zimo's fear of fire was severe, and winter meant they would need to use fire and coal to keep warm.

The house Zimo signed would heat the house while keeping the actual fire in the kitchen. He hoped Zimo wouldn't suffer from his fear, but he couldn't be certain until they tried it. If it didn't work... he didn't know what other choice the had. However, he would need to figure it out before it became too cold.

....

Zimo had calmed down. They walked out of the room and approached the Li couple to discuss what had happened.

"Mrs Li, thank you for offering to teach me how to cook. But, um... I'm sorry I can't cook. I shouldn't have acting so violently. I'm really sorry." Zimo aid as he bowed his head in apology.

"XiaoMo , I'm not upset. You weren't violent at all, I was just taken by surprise and lost my balance. You have no reason to apologize. Quite the opposite, I should apologize to you. You clearly did not want to learn, but I tried to push you. I'm also sorry." Mrs Li said in return. Thinking back she realized something wasn't right with the way Zimo reacted.

"XiaoMo, can I ask why you are so resistant to the idea of cooking?" Mrs Li asked curiously.

"It's not that Zimo cannot cook. He understands food and cooking and often cuts, and prepares everything for me when I am busy." LongWei said.

"Then, why was he so reluctant to cook?" Mrs Li asked even more confused.
"It's because he has a fear of fire. Entering the kitchen when there is a fire burning, or even just a candle's flame is very difficult for him." LongWei said as he rubbed Zimo's shoulder. LongWei knew Zimo would have preferred not to talk about his fear of fire, but he wanted to avoid any future problems.

"A fear of fire?" Old man Li looked at Zimo surprised. This small boy had many difficulties. Every time they met, he seemed to grow more fragile. Old man Li couldn't help but wonder how he became this way.

Mrs Li naturally want3 to ask why, but looking at Zimo nervously sitting next to LongWei, trying to make himself as small as possible. She knew it wasn't something he want3 to talk about.

...