Traitor (Renji Yomo x Reader) [Continued in a second book!]

Too Much

The following day was quite rough.

I always considered visiting Renji's place but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

While I was aware that I had to get all my things first, I just didn't want to see him right now.

And I somehow missed him.

Living alone, at my place, suddenly felt so lonely.

Having absolutely nothing to do didn't help at all.

My entire material was on my laptop. Everything I needed in order to go to my lectures and everything I needed to learn.

I was literally screwed.

The CCG called me and let me know I was off work today as well due to the incident last night. Usually I'd be really happy about that but now that I had nothing to do, this entire day just felt like a waste of time.

After spending hours searching through my entire room for something to do, I found a huge book that had nothing to do with my major but seemed interesting. So I decided to read it.

But it didn't take long before I finished reading it as well.

Once again I had no idea what to do, so I just took a nap.

Falling asleep was really difficult and I felt like I slept with one eye open after I woke up about two hours later.

I just wanted this day to end.

Whenever I thought about going outside I just couldn't bring myself to do it. The more hours passed the more fear build inside me and at some point I knew it wouldn't be a good idea to leave my room.

Everything was just so overwhelming.

Figuring out that a horde of ghouls attacked my family, claiming that my father was a horrible person, finding out that I've been 'used' somehow and just.. Seeing and feeling how cruel those ghouls are made me feel terrible.

Not remembering anything didn't help at all.

I tried to give them a chance, tried to ignore the fact that they're eating humans but now they gave me more than a couple of reasons to hate them.

I just didn't know what to do anymore.. So I just stayed in my room and counted seconds.

The more I thought about everything the worse I felt, so I tried to distract myself as much as possible - even with stupid things.

♦♦♦

It was about 10pm when I heard a knock on my door. Having had bad experiences with opening doors just yesterday, I was very hesitant.

After going through possible cases I decided to stay on my bed, to not open the door.

My heart started racing because I didn't know who it was.

Just then I realized that I couldn't take my pills either - and that, that was probably leading to bad consequences for me.

Damnit..

Let's just hope this goes well..

More knocks.

Please just go away

I bit my lip hard and pulled my legs closer to me so I could bury my head in them.

The knocking didn't stop.

I knew it could just as well be someone from the CCG, but I just didn't want to open the door in case a ghoul would be in front of it.

After like 5 minutes the occasional knocking stopped.