Traitor (Renji Yomo x Reader) [Continued in a second book!]

Damaged

After he embraced me again, I managed to find peace, managed to catch my breath and relax for the time being. Something about him was very calming, soothing both my mind and my heart. Perhaps it was his voice that did the magic or even his scent or his warmth - I couldn't make it out - but one thing was for sure, he was the reason I felt a bit better. He was just what I needed during this chapter of my life. Yet, he was the one I had needed all along but couldn't reach out to. At least he was finally with me, giving me support and strength that I needed so bad.

"Hey, uh.. Are you sick, did you catch a fever or something?" he suddenly wanted to know, breaking our silence and pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Sick? No.. I've been just fine"

"But your temperature is.. Very high and you have.. Red spots all over your body. Something's off"

"Yeah.. I've noticed those spots too. I assume it's caused by stress" I said while sighing.

Even though they were pretty obvious, I hoped he would ignore them but at the same time I was glad he cared about my well-being.

"That doesn't explain your body's temperature though" he insisted, carefully cupping my bruised cheek with his hand.

Feeling his cold hand against my warm, slightly swollen cheek made me realize that he was right, my body was still very warm. He felt like ice while I was the fire, boiling on the in- and outside. Over the past minutes I almost forgot about the pain but as soon as he mentioned it, it returned.

"Well.. it's true that I feel a little lightheaded.. And my body kinda aches" I admitted.

Renji's face suddenly came closer, inspecting the red patches around my face.

His move gave me a good view of his beautiful orbs and his rather sharp features.

He matured a lot over the past years.. But now he's even more handsome

When his thumb gently rubbed over the inflammations, my heart began to race with anticipation, the feeling of happiness steadily growing within me, numbing the pain of his soft touch.

Was this something I longed for? What is triggering my sudden feelings for him?

As he created more distance between us again, I felt my heart sink.

Was I expecting something? Maybe.. A kiss?

Furrowing my brows, I tried figuring out myself, my thoughts.

I'm not surprised my feelings for him are still.. Existing and growing. They never died down. He was the one I always longed for. The one I wanted to spend my time with. The one that I thought had died because of me. The one that feels like home.

All this time I wanted to be right next to him.. And now I finally am.

But.. now I'm going to have a daughter, I'm stuck with an abusive.. 'Father' and am being used.

He got up, crossed his arms in front of his chest and started roaming around the room. To me it seemed like he was thinking, bothered by all of this, maybe worried about me.