Traitor (Renji Yomo x Reader) [Continued in a second book!]

Adjusting

The next days were hard to handle. Suddenly, you were all alone. No one besides doctors and nurses tried to speak to you. No one tended your wishes. In a way, you felt terrible but you also freed. Freed from so much burden, freed from so much pain. It was your heart that didn't want to let go just yet. You knew that a future with Renji was never going to happen. The damage done was too much to take, too hard to forgive. Only your heart still clung onto him. With each passing day it was supposed to be easier but for you, it wasn't. Part of you even missed him but that was only natural after you two spend so much time with together.

At least you could finally start therapy. Physical and mental therapy. A special doctor was sent to you the day after you broke it off with Renji. She was the one who basically picked you up and told you that the process you were going through was natural. Missing him was just as normal as hating him at the same time. And she also let you know that she'd help you regain your life, promised to follow you until you didn't need any more guidance. Talking to her was overwhelming, trusting a stranger was harder than ever. Sharing your experiences, your inner demons, was harder than you thought. It made you vulnerable. From there on out, she promised to show up for counseling twice a week.

Later that day, you were supposed to find out your baby's sex. But you didn't feel like it. All the talking about what happened to you, how people kept taking pieces of you, wore you out. The part about how you felt was the most tiring to you. It made you cry. And after all this heartbreak and the re-living of all those events, you simply couldn't bring up excitement to find out what exactly you were bearing. Besides that, it didn't matter too much to you. You always wanted a child, if female or male was irrelevant.

Another day later, your first physiotherapy took place. Though you couldn't walk, the muscles in your back and arms had to be strengthened. So if you would suffer the fate of never being able to walk again, you could at least move around on your own. The exercise was exhausting even though you only did a few for a short amount of time. And since you were pregnant, no heavy weights were included, only your body weight.

All of this way only possible because your neck was getting better every day and it was time to strengthen the muscles around it. Soon, the brace would be removed for good. The goal of your physiotherapy was not to grace you with a new walking ability but to help you relax and grow muscle that you'd need in the near future.

At last, you also received language therapy. While you didn't exactly seem to have trouble speaking, Chigyou wanted to ensure you wouldn't suffer from issues later on. It wasn't only about how you spoke, it was about how you read and how your brain transfers data. That way doctors could find out at which parts of your brain took damage and could plan on how to increase their function.

It was all about you getting better.

However, just when you thought you could relax in your bed and maybe even take a nap, nurses had to do daily checkups. It was not only about you but your baby, too. They had to ensure your blood pressure was fine and that your wounds were all healing properly. -.. And they also had to help you shower. Your most dreaded event of the day.

Days went on as normal. You tried your best to bond with your child, make up for all the lost time. Lullabies, talking, caressing your stomach - you did it all. Sometimes it replied with a kick, something you hadn't felt in a while. It reminded you of Auria. As soon as her name struck your thoughts, anxiety caved in. This pregnancy was still dangerous for you and also very risky - there was still a high chance you could lose your baby. To avoid the scary thoughts lingering, you reminded yourself of what a fighter your baby was. It made it through the abuse, through the worst stress and the most breaking experience you went through in a while. It survived terrible cramps - so it surely would survive through the peaceful part of the pregnancy. At least that's what you told yourself.