Traitor (Renji Yomo x Reader) [Continued in a second book!]

Last Night (Funeral Part 1/3)

Hours passed by faster than I ever wanted them to. With each minute passing by, I started feeling sicker knowing Ryuu would arrive here to stay for his final night. Cleaning his room wasn't easy. Every now and then I just had to take a break. The air was choking me. My feelings of guilt returned; it still seemed to be my fault he died. And this terrific heartache kept getting worse, too. Somehow, we still made it, though; the room was clean just in time. I even managed to hop into the shower before the door bell rang.

I was just drying my hair as the familiar sound rang through the halls. It immediately sent shivers down my spine. My heart was racing, I heard my pulse loud and clearly in my head. Even though I wanted to leave, run off, I also wanted to be the one to open the door for my son. But I couldn't do it. I wasn't ready. After I unplugged and put down the hair dryer, I quickly reached out for the door knob and brushed through my hair with my free hand. My body began shaking with each inch it closed up on the knob. I attempted turning it but failed. It slipped from my hands. Assuming my hand was too wet, I grabbed a towel and rubbed my hand on it. Then I tried to turn the knob again. Meanwhile, both Koutarou and Renji walked past the bathroom door, towards the front door.

They're both welcoming him.. Shit. I must hurry.

As his mother, I felt like it was my duty to welcome Ryuu, too... but I couldn't open the door. I couldn't bring myself to open it. The fear of breaking at the sight of my son, not being able to take it, was too high. Renji and Koutarou both spoke to whoever brought him here, I heard their voices and some murmuring. Only moments later, I heard the strangers enter and walk right past the bathroom. Judging by how far their footsteps went, how long I could hear them, I knew they were entering Ryuu's room. It was close to the bathroom. And that's when some tears continued prickling at the corners of my eyes. Memories flooded right back into my mind. I couldn't stop them. Closing both of my eyes and leaning my forehead against the door, I let them consume me. A few tears fell onto the floor.

The first time I bathed him.. And that cute smile as I put bath foam on his head once he was a few months old.. And how he played with his favorite duck.. Ryuu loved bathing

Glancing over at the bathtub, I saw his toy resting in the corner, next to some baby shampoo. The yellow plastic duck so happened to represent a baby boy-duck, too.

That I didn't notice all his stuff in here before didn't even shock me. I was used to seeing it on a daily basis, not once did I realize that it shouldn't be here anymore. After all, his death still didn't sink in entirely.

Maybe.. We can donate that later on.. Perhaps some family can use it..