Traitor (Renji Yomo x Reader) [Continued in a second book!]

Of Grieving & Giving

The following weeks seemed endless to you. The pain didn't leave, nor did it get easier. Every 7th day after Ryuu's funeral, Renji and you held a ceremony in front of the little shrine you set up at Koutarou's place. This was supposed to go on until the 49th day after the funeral. So far, you were 21 days in. And it still hurt just like it did when you woke up next to a dead Ryuu.

From disbelief to anger at yourself, wishing you had done more to save him and an unbearable sadness. You went through it all. Luckily, both Renji and Koutarou were with you. And at least Renji went through the same issues; the same exact grieving process. To support each other, Renji visited every second day - and of course every 7th after the funeral. Some days you yelled at each other, could've torn each other's hair out but in the end, you both ended up crying, holding another. Words were thrown around full of hatred but they meant so little; nothing at all. If anything, they brought you closer. You both were a little testy.

♦♦♦

"Watch where you're going, moron!" I yelled at Renji after he accidentally pushed a vase at Ryuu's shrine over which was holding flowers for him, creating a huge mess on the floor, "Look what you did!"

Not only did he vase fall over and some petals were loosely lying on the floor, a framed picture of Ryuu fell over too, soaking in the water from the flowers. Rushing over to the tiny shrine, I immediately picked up the photo.

He stared at me in disbelief. His eyes switched between looking at the wet floor and me. Shaking my head in annoyance from his behavior, I picked up the photo only to see that the glass broke.

"This is all your fault!" I shouted, my eyes meeting his seconds later.

In that exact moment, Renji began frowning as well, throwing his hands up in surrender.

"If you hadn't put it too much to the left that wouldn't have happened!" he argued, stomping over to the couch to grab some tissues for the floor.

Although he was angry, I could tell that it was not Ren who I was speaking to. This was just an upset Renji. Over the past weeks, Ren seemed almost gone. He only flashed through every now and then but only ever really briefly. His progress made me feel proud of him.

"Oh c'mon! Don't blame it on me!" I groaned, my frown lighting up as I glanced at my dead son's photo.

"How about you don't blame it on me!" he groaned, stomping back over to us.

"You're a fucking idiot" I murmured under my breath, running my hands along the broken glass in front of Ryuu's portrait.

"Just stop pretending like I meant to do that" he mumbled, crouching down beside me, wiping the floor.

"You always caused pain for him. At least let him rest in peace" I whispered, my eyes focused on my son's smile.

"Excuse me?!" he raised one of his eyebrows.

"Yes, you indeed caused a shit ton of pain for him - are you surprised now?!" I argued, just sucking some bullshit out of my head to get my anger out.