Traitor (Renji Yomo x Reader) [Continued in a second book!]

Reality Hurts

Shaken by my sudden outburst, my ex-best friend didn't dare to say a word. His eyes lowered from my face to the floor. Judging by how he nibbled on his lip, he was nervous. And he definitely should be.

"How dare you show up now?!" I continued to confront him with my frustration.

"I.." he began to speak but I cut him off right away.

"You ruined my life!" I shouted, tears running down my cheek as I got up and strode over to him, pointing my finger in his direction, "You shouldn't have let what happened happen!"
"I was drunk just like you" he returned frowning softly as he watched my emotional outburst unleash.

"But you weren't nearly as hammered as I was! You should've stopped it!" I blamed him for my mistake.

"You agreed to have sex just as much as I did" he, compared to me, spoke calmly in his defense, "If I wouldn't have been wasted, too, I would've stopped us. It was technically dubious consent - but from both of us. The moment I began sobering up, I pulled out - it was you who still touched me and I couldn't stop you. I'm not happy about this either. That's why I'm here.."

Unable to hear him talk about it, feeling too embarrassed still, I turned my head to the side to avoid his gaze. For a split of a second, I recalled the way he made me feel. Seconds later, my cheek heated up. My own behavior in this matter disgusted me. That I gave myself away so easily, let him do all these things to me and even enjoyed it grossed me out. Back then I could reason with feeling rejected by my own boyfriend, nowadays, I just felt dirty. Especially now that I was.. Pregnant. While signs were pointing towards it possibly being Renji's child - and I certainly wanted to hold on to that - but there still was a chance that it was Koutarou's.

"But-.. We simply shouldn't have done that!" I angrily concluded after a moment of silence, lifting my hand to hold my head because I still felt lightheaded, "You should've never hit on a drunk, taken woman!"

"But I didn't, it was yo-"

"My life is ruined! Renji went back to dating that stupid bitch for the sake of his son! And why? Just because of that one fucking mistake!" I shouted in frustration while staring right back into Koutarou's eyes, "We were doing great before that incident!"

"That.. That's a lie.. You guys weren't happy" Koutarou continued to speak calmly, not breaking eye contact.

I knew he was right. I wasn't happy. Renji had lied to me, suddenly had a kid, spent less time with me, neglected me.

"He wanted to propose to me that night! He saw us leave! I was supposed to be an engaged woman right now!" I complained aloud, waving my hands around in an attempt to release some of my frustration, "We were supposed to get married soon! We would've finally been a family! B-but y-you just ruined all this!"

"(Y/N).. I understand your frustration but we both want-"

"You don't understand!" I called out, forming fists with my hands, "I'm pregnant! ..I'm pregn-...ant"