Traitor (Renji Yomo x Reader) [Continued in a second book!]

Torn

The following days or even weeks were terrible. It all started off with me demanding an audition with Tsuneyoshi Washuu, the CCG's chairman. I wanted to clear things up, wanted to get a chance to tell him the truth. But it was foolish of me to think I'd be granted my wish. Instead, we were brought to both Chigyou and Kanou. They were collaborating now. No matter how much I spoke up for myself and tried to expose Kanou by telling the truth in front of Chigyou and other investigators, they were convinced I was the one lying. They didn't listen. Not a single person did. Koutarou Amon, who was my last hope, didn't show up either. Chigyou showed extreme interest in Renji while Kanou was obviously still after me. After some discussing, they decided to separate us. I tried to stop them by proposing to give my entire life to them. But they declined. They said that my life was already promised to them anyway.. By my adoptive father, Kanou. Apparently, my rights were taken from me the second we were captured and given to him. My life was handed to the one that ruined my life. Giving myself up for him was the last thing I could do. For now. I never meant for him to be dragged into this mess.

But they still took him away from me. It was like the first time we were torn from each other but with reversed roles. He was the one taken from me.

I was a complete mess from there on. I didn't know what they did to him, how they would use him. I didn't know if he would be tested like I was. Hell, I didn't know if I'd ever see him again. Those doctors knew I needed him. They knew that our relationship was already crumbling the day before. They knew that all of this was tearing at the seams of my heart. They knew I was blaming myself.

Instead of starting their tests on me, they let me rot away in this cell. No one spoke to me. No one let me know what was going on. I was sitting in this small room, quietly whispering to myself as I swayed back and forth. It didn't take long before I felt abandoned, forgotten. And it was my own fault. The only human contact I had was the food and drinks I received. They were full of medication.. Full of suppressants. None of them were numbing the pain I endured, they only weakened me further.

My wounds were burning, my head was throbbing and my heart was aching. I was completely shaken up. The lack of control, the helplessness drove me insane. I started banging on the door, begging for anyone to listen, to help. They ignored me. On top of it, I began to get sick from all the medicine.. The "food" and the "water".

All the progress I made on my mentality turned to dust. I didn't mean to succumb to my issues but they began to overwhelm me. The hate for myself grew with every passing minute, the doubts, the guilt, the uncertainty filled me up entirely. During the rare occasions that I fell asleep, I had nightmares. Terrifying nightmares that left me in shock the second I woke up. They were the reason I tried to stay awake most of the time. I completely hit rock bottom.

I didn't know how much time passed before my body felt utterly weak. Even lifting my head was hard. That's when Kanou first came to me. He had to pull me up from the ground. Some stranger bathed me, increasing my anxiety to an almost unbearable level. I was horrified. Once I was all pretty and styled, Kanou invited me into his office. Chigyou was with him and so was Kishou.

It was the first time since Kishou attacked me, that I saw him. His face was stern, showing no regret nor sympathy. Though I wanted to cry because it brought back memories of his betrayal, I couldn't. Ever since Renji disappeared and I was left on my own in a tiny cell, I cried. Now there were no more tears left to shed.