Traitor (Renji Yomo x Reader) [Continued in a second book!]

Confident

To say your relationship was going uphill again would be a blatant lie. After that night of bonding, it was quick to get worse again. Renji often tended to Itori's needs. When she asked for him to come over and handle Tetsuo, he did. When she wanted him to stay the night because of Tetsuo, he did. And when she wanted some free time without her kid, Renji had to jump in, too. Although you specifically asked him not to, he often brought the little bundle of joy along. So far he didn't spend the night but watching Renji play with him, both laughing in sync, was bad enough. In those moments, all you could do was escape. Escape to the one Renji didn't want you to go see anymore - but you never dared to listen to that anyway. Koutarou was always very careful about it, didn't want cause trouble but at the same time didn't want to let you down. He swore to himself to protect you from Renji and to be there for you no matter what. Seeing Tetsuo always brought back memories of Ryuu, always made you feel like you failed as a mother, always brought back the guilt and endless pain, memories of having lost your beloved baby. It also didn't really help that mother's day was beating you up because you were a mother. A mother of two angels. You were very vulnerable, agitated at that time.. But that didn't seem to stop Renji.

Even weeks later you couldn't stand to be near Renji's son. You couldn't witness how happy he was, felt tremendous envy erupt for him and Itori for having such a wonderful child. That he lied to you still infuriated you to no end and that he had a child with that woman hurt. Just knowing that he slept with her was frustrating and annoying. It all highly bothered you, stressed you. You couldn't help but feel like he would cheat. So whenever your worst feelings and emotions struck you, you ran to Koutarou for help. He was always willing to listen and give his honest opinion. Aside from that, he was splendid at comforting. His hugs cuddles and friendly kisses were very consoling. It was hard for him to hold his feelings in. Every time he saw you shed a tear about your boyfriend, he wanted to smack some sense into him. How you could still love Renji after so much had happened, remained a mystery to him; he didn't understand your forgiveness but wanted to support your decisions, be a good friend. It was just really hard when his own feelings kept getting in the way. He couldn't tell you about them, he didn't want to lose you.

To make it all worse, of course, Renji knew exactly what was going on. He knew where you were going and it certainly angered him. In his eyes, Koutarou was visibly in love with his girlfriend and that sure was angering.. Especially when you were constantly at his place. So far, he managed to hold back the majority of it, didn't want to cause trouble but your fighting increased nonetheless. As understanding as you tried to be regarding Tetsuo and Itori, you hated how he continuously put them first. Your relationship began to feel more distanced by the second. Renji was barely ever home, carelessly brought his child along with him at times - it was impossible for you not to be upset about this. He completely disregarded your feelings, your trauma. In return, you ignored his demands of not seeing Koutarou.

Most of the times, you both ended in tears, sometimes even mercilessly shouting at each other, continuously bringing up stories of the past - especially you breaking his laptop. But once everything was said and done, you ended in each other's arms, cuddling, whispering apologies. Most of the time, for some reason, Renji was trying his best to get in your pants to make up for his behavior. It was suddenly his way of bonding, knowing you were all his; that he didn't have to worry about you and Koutarou. For the sake of not wanting to lose him to Itori, who was still obviously attracted to him and constantly flirting with him, you agreed on having non-penetrative sex. Anything beyond that would only cause all horrifying memories to come back. You were still struggling with the visuals.. and your past. You were still healing. However, the more you two fought, the more in need you were for reassurance that he loved you. So those touches meant more than you ever thought they could - in a positive way. On top of that, they proved he still wanted you.. And not Itori. Loved your body and your flaws. Those were also some things you, understandably, needed to be reminded of.