Traitor (Renji Yomo x Reader) [Continued in a second book!]

Grieve

The second I entered the room with my hands cuffed behind my back, I felt a heavy sadness engulf me. People, doctors, and nurses, including Chigyou, stood around Ryuu's bed. Renji was sitting on a chair in front of it, everyone else stood. No one spoke a word, faces turned towards me. I couldn't exactly read them. Or perhaps I was refusing to understand the truth.

Koutarou stood behind me, I could almost hear him gulp. The nurse who led me here walked past me, over to Ryuu who was.. Just calmly laying on his bed. Asleep.

All air in this room felt thick, sadness lingering in it. My heart began to feel heavy, yet I didn't know why. So far, nothing was confirmed. It was the moment Chigyou attempted to speak but failed to find proper words, that it hit me, that I understood. Tears immediately welled up in my eyes and I rapidly shook my head.

"No.. No.." I whispered, refusing to believe that Ryuu was.. Dead.

"Miss.. I'm.. - his heart won't start beating again" the nurse quietly explained, giving me an apologetic smile.

I tried to storm towards him, towards my baby boy, but the police held me back, pulled me back by my handcuffs. My breathing quickened while I continuously shook my head. Not even for a split second did I let them hold me back, instead, I somehow used all my power and tore my hands out of the handcuffs. And then I hurried towards.. My son's.. death bed.

"He's.. He's.. - no.." I stuttered, not knowing what to say as tears slid down my cheek one by one.

"We performed numerous tests while always attempting our best at resuscitating him. There's no brain activity" the nurse went on, "We could only bring back his body, not your son."

I heard her words, I heard her explanation but I couldn't believe it. I refused to believe it. But with every second of staring at his lifeless body, my heart sunk further into darkness. Many eyes were on me, watching me, judging me. After all, I was still suspected of killing him.

Taking his tiny, adorable but so stone cold hand in mine broke me. The hand that held out a toy to me hours ago now belonged to a corpse. My baby's corpse. Thousands of different thoughts went through my head.

His smile, his giggle, the way his eye(s) lit up when I held his favorite toy out to him or the way he clapped his hands when he succeeded at anything. And the first time he crawled, the first time he spoke.. the first time I breastfed him, the first time I held him. The moment he called me his mommy.

Right after all the memories we had, came the memories we would never make. I would never hear him speak or walk.. Or watch him play games with friends. I would never see him grow up into a man.

He's dead.

My breathing hitched, my brows furrowed while I took in the sight before me; his corpse. There was no pulse on his wrist.. And that's when it really sunk it.

All of my body began trembling, my legs lost all balance within seconds and I sunk to the ground as a crying mess. I covered my mouth and closed my eyes tightly, weeping in silence.