Traitor (Renji Yomo x Reader) [Continued in a second book!]

Last Time

The sun kissed my skin, warmed my body just enough to wake me up. Despite slowly awakening, I was far from actually awake. It felt like I had been sleeping for merely two hours. My head was pounding, my eyes felt dried out and, aside from the sun rays warmth, I was feeling quite cold. The breeze that entered through a window was surprisingly chill.

In my sleep-deprived state, I instinctively cuddled into the warm arms that were nearby - they'd surely keep me warm. I didn't realize that, nowadays, no one would be sleeping next to me. Renji was the only one I used to cuddle up to but.. We were no longer together. I had grown so used to someone else's warmth, that right then, I simply thought I was back with Renji before everything became awful.

The arms that were loosely wrapped around my body suddenly moved and pulled me closer into an even warmer embrace. As part of my body was pressed into someone else's bare chest, I felt secure. Until I realized that I was no longer with Renji, that's when my eyes shot open and I pushed myself away. The arms around me loosened up but remained on my body. I didn't know what was going on, didn't remember last night just yet. I began panicking, somehow convinced that it had to be Renji who was in front of me. My breath hitched as my heartbeat increased tremendously, completely waking me up. Last time I awoke next to a guy, my body had been misused and I was in indescribable pain. I couldn't help but think I was in a similar situation, even though I couldn't feel any pain.

After the first wave of anxiety passed and my breathing calmed, I slowly trailed my eyes up towards the male's face. It was then, that it all dawned on me.

Koutarou..

His eyes were narrowed, barely open as he glanced down at me with concern. He was visibly tired and half asleep, but he squeezed my waist softly and ran his other hand through my hair.

"You 'kay?" he spoke, his voice even deeper than it'd normally be.

Looking into his sleepy eyes and hearing him speak let my heart skip a beat. The way his eyes kept closing for a few seconds before they reopened made my heart flutter. Something about it was utterly beautiful and adorable, calming in every possible way.

Just as my wave of anxiety began to pass, he gently kneaded my side which made me notice and realize that I was naked. As the realization hit me, I immediately covered my chest and crossed my legs. Up until then, I hadn't realized that we enjoyed the night together. Our hands were all over each other. Groping feels as much as we could. He took off his shirt rather soon so I could get a glimpse of what he had in store. And good god, he's so insanely attractive. Very defined body, muscles made of absolute steel and that V-line with those two veins. Aside from that, he had such incredible arms. Whenever he squeezed me anywhere, all I could do was watch his muscle twitch. Though his muscles were nice, his forearms full of defined veins and those long fingers were also playing a huge part in it. And as I saw his strong legs I felt like I was about to pass out from heat. He. Was. Too. Hot. And instead of rough and demanding, his touches were subtle and caring. He never pressured me. Not even once did he treat me anyhow ungentle.

Oh jeez, and his girth and length were insane. It sure was a surprise that he didn't tear me to pieces.

Back then, I was too drunk to care about being naked in front of such a gorgeous guy. But now.. A little sobered up.. I found myself laying in front of him and it was a whole different picture. I, the one with stretch marks, brands, scars and some extra chub from being pregnant.. And loving to eat, was naked in front of such a good looking man that so happened to be my best friend. It embarrassed me, made me feel insecure. While he knew about most my flaws, I never mentioned insecurities regarding my appearance.

He was quick to withdraw his hands, a gentle frown appearing on his face showing his genuine concern. It was the same concern he showed so many times before. Even as we were making love, he was looking out for me, making sure that I was absolutely okay with this and in no way regretting it - and not in and kind of pain at any moment. He cared and that's what kept me from panicking about sleeping with him. Not once did Renji cross my mind, not once did I remember any type of abuse - but I could have, even in my drunken state.