Traitor (Renji Yomo x Reader) [Continued in a second book!]

Starving

Two weeks later nothing changed.

Kishou was surprised about me being able to speak again, it made our little conversations a lot easier but besides that, nothing changed - for me.

The news were full of ghoul sightings and a human even got injured to the point he would've died if no one had found him in time.

Kanou took him in, he apparently 'saved' him - but Kishou and me both knew that, that was a lie. While the male student survived, it was obvious that something was wrong.

Kanou was celebrated like a hero by the media when in reality he probably scarred the boy for life. Unfortunately, we couldn't keep track of the student though. Not yet at least.

Due to the high increase of ghoul sightings, Kishou was barely at home, leaving me on my own almost everyday. He had a lot to do, mainly paperwork as he was almost never used as an investigator because he was very precious and they couldn't risk losing him.

Anyway, I was still allowed to leave - but I didn't want to.

After my encounter with Renji I removed the promise ring he gave me, it suddenly felt so heavy, like a chain that was pulling me down. And I also lost interest in any activities.

Instead I spent most of my time thinking about my life. Renji was right, it was messed up that I kept this child.. But I had to!

Nonetheless I was really bothered by his words. Hearing him, the one I love, say that I was a different person really troubled my mind. I didn't want to be someone else, I wanted to be myself. But.. who was I?

That was the question I tried to find a clear answer to.

Usually, it wouldn't have bothered me. But it was Renji.. Renji saying that.. Not some stranger.

Kishou kept trying to lift my mood..but.. It was not my mood that was bad, I didn't have a mood - I was just bothered.

Another thing that bothered me was my pregnancy in general. Most people said that the second trimester would be the easiest, but that was not the case for me.

My stomach was very hard - which was way too soon, it was supposed to harden during the last trimester, nausea didn't subside and I felt very tired all the time. I didn't feel any pain.. But I believed I would've actually been in pain if felt any.

Something was clearly wrong, but I didn't know what to do.. I didn't want to meet with Kanou to let him check on me, not yet. I didn't trust him, I wanted to go to another doctor, but I had no idea to whom to go to - after all.. They might be able to tell that I'm some sort of artificial ghoul hybrid.

Deep inside I really wanted to talk to Renji and ask him for help but he was against this anyway, he wouldn't want to help.

Since I had no one to talk to, I kept it to myself and decided to deal with this on my own.

That was until I started experiencing blood loss during 4 months & 3 weeks of being pregnant.

Blood randomly started running down my leg when I was standing and I had no idea why.

Not being able to really feel pain was becoming a big struggle right now and it actually lead to me panicking about my child.

Panicking comes from fearing and fear is a feeling and an emotion which meant that I slowly started getting better - my injury was healing day by day, but I never started feeling physical pain. At least I was no longer a completely empty robot people had to interact with.

Nonetheless, my concern was growing steadily up to the point I had to share it with someone.