Traitor (Renji Yomo x Reader) [Continued in a second book!]

Safe Haven

Taking another deep breath I finally managed to walk - it was quite difficult due to my body shaking violently.

I suddenly felt so vulnerable to this entire world.

Okay.. that was intense..

My stomach was being insanely sick by now and I didn't know, if I could even eat anything at all but I would try because I didn't want to disappoint Renji.

Once my body slowly adjusted and stabilized itself, I started stepping out of the room and stumbled over to the couch where we usually ate.

"Sorry, I forgot something for your food so when I called, yours wasn't ready - I just finished it though" he admitted while standing in the kitchen and putting some food on a plate.

"O-okay" I stuttered as he came up beside me, handing my plate to me - his' was already standing on the table.

His food seemed to be rather cold or at least cooled down my now, which made me feel guilty on one hand but I was kinda glad on the other - because his food always smelled odd because obviously it was just .. human flesh.

He frowned a little when I didn't take the food right away and instead put it on the table beside his'.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

We both turned our heads to look at each other, so our eyes met right away.

"You're even more pale than you were earlier.. When you.. You know.. - What's wrong?" he added.

My eyes were probably still red from crying just a few minutes ago and my body was probably still shaking, so I knew that lying to him would be useless.

There was no way I could speak about what I just witnessed though - at least not right now. I needed some time to think about it first. After all, if this was the truth and all of this horrible stuff really happened to me, I never told Renji about it, so it'd probably shock him just as much.

Our eyes were just gazing into teach others.

At first it felt normal but after a few seconds I started feeling as if he was staring right into my soul and therefore intimidating me.

To avoid this feeling I started avoiding his eyes and instead turned my head to the food and quickly took the plate.

I still felt his eyes on me.

Hoping that he'd get the hint that I couldn't talk about it at the moment and would let go for now, I quickly took a fork that was laying on the (couch) table and started eating - even though I still felt sick.

Renji didn't stop staring at me.

I knew if he'd keep looking at me I'd break down and cry.

While he probably didn't know what exactly happened, he knew that something was off.

Stay calm.. It'll be fine..

Trying to reassure myself was useless as well, his eyes on me somehow provoked emotions that I wanted to hold back.

This silence was just making it worse, but if I wanted to speak my voice would fail. It'd crack and give all my emotions away.

A couple of minutes passed by before Renji slowly took the plate and the fork out of my hands.