Traitor (Renji Yomo x Reader) [Continued in a second book!]

The Urge

FYI: Inclues a NSFW part at the bottom but I made sure you know where it starts and where it ends - you can definitely skip it if you want to c:

The night ended rather soon as we both fell asleep on the couch, cuddling and holding each other tightly. It was a real shock to me to find out that Renji had been severely abused - even sexually. Having experienced it myself, it was something I didn't want him to endure. Though he said he wasn't actually hurt or in pain, he had been intoxicated, knocked out and taken advantage of - something that he described as terrifying. And it is. As I had been taken advantage of while I was passed out, I knew how disgusting he must've felt. Finding yourself undressed, partly or entirely, and with a lack of memory is simply disturbing. And knowing it was one of your former friends performing such cruel acts was probably just making it worse for him. Sure, it was a tiny bit disappointing that he only told me because he had to, but I could definitely understand him. He was ashamed, he didn't want to share his story because all types of abuse against men are usually mocked - though, it's a very serious term. So, of course I wanted to make sure he felt loved and supported. And I really wanted to kill Itori for what she'd done.

The next weeks were all about planning.. And visiting Aurias grave as we said we would. Planning our trip to Kanou's lab and how we'd follow Kaneki's group but also planning Renji's birthday. While we planned our mission to Kanou's lab together, I was planning Renji's birthday trip in secret. I really wanted it to be special, not just a casual trip. But how to make a ghoul's birthday special? Most people go eat at a restaurant - but there is no such thing as an actual ghoul restaurant. At least not the type of restaurant I'd imagine. Since Renji was home almost all the time, I tried to make him tell me things he wanted to see without actually slipping that I was planning to take him there. But it was so difficult as he kept claiming that he had nothing in mind, yet kept telling me about these pretty places that he saw on photos but didn't know where they were located. Whenever I asked what made them special he had no clue either, just explained that they caught his attention somehow. Basically, he had no idea what he liked and wanted to go see. On the bright side, that meant I could chose something and he couldn't complain.

Besides that Renji also met up with Touka every now and then, apparently to further train and guide her. I really just hoped she wouldn't influence his decision of staying with me, because she made her opinion about us and especially about me very clear that one time we met. But as his girlfriend and hopefully future wife, I didn't think I should forbid him spending time with his niece. He never forbid me spending time with Kishou either.

Kishou and me met up various times, usually at the place I was working at. We shared a drink or two and chatted about everything that was going on. He confirmed that our ward was lacking investigators and that various different ghouls were causing havoc all over the other wards. However, he, along with some other high class investigators, were told to watch over our ward. It didn't exactly make me feel save, but I really hoped that Kishou would keep them from suspecting me.. And Renji. We also shared some other information, mainly regarding our private lives. I told him about the plans of searching Kanou and he told me that it was a good idea - mainly because traces revealed that he should be hiding there at the moment. I also mentioned wanting to start a family to which he reacted quite shocked. Instead of telling us to wait - which I expected - he told us to hurry, saying our time was running out. At first, it sounded bizarre to me.. but then I realized that I was an artificial ghoul and fertility was already dropping rapidly for me. Renji was turning 31 soon and I was turning 29 at some point this year - usually, we'd be at our best ages but according to Kishou, I was already about to pass it. He couldn't explain why though, so I hoped it was a fact he misread or misinterpret because right now was definitely not the time for a baby. That was also the day Kishou told me what exactly he was - that he was some sort of ghoul as well.. But it was called a half-human, not a half-ghoul nor a full ghoul or full human. He was a full on hybrid, bred by the Sunlit Garden. The only thing we really had in common though, was that he had no kakugan or kagune - just like me. He told me how he was aging faster than me and feared I would too - but that was when our conversation was interrupted by an important call. We haven't spoken about it since. And I couldn't tell Renji either as I feared to slip that Kishou was my "brother". But it definitely worried me lots. I decided that once I'd meet Kanou, I'd ask him about this.