A/N: I hope you got some time on your hands, this is actually long :'D
•••
The following morning, he kicked you out of the bed, claiming you were sneaking up on him, that it was you who snuggled up to him. Back then he seemed confused, so you just thought he might've forgotten that he initiated it but you were soon to find out that this was bound to be normal behavior from now on. Over the course of three weeks, your tumbling relationship began exhausting you endlessly. Not only because Renji kept bringing Tetsuo over but because his behavior changed for the worse. While you were desperately trying to make up with him, read his every wish from his lips before he even dared to say a word, he was struggling with his demons - now more than ever. As much as he wanted to tell himself that there was no reason for him to stay, he couldn't deny his feelings for you. The hurt, the pain and the suffering from your cheating were making his everyday life a hellhole. But aside from that, he loved you. You were his beautiful nightmare, the poison in his veins. Somehow he was clinging on to you, praying you could fix his broken heart again. Nonetheless, he couldn't hold back his anger. It wasn't easy for him, it really wasn't. He didn't want to hurt you but couldn't pretend everything would be okay in no time, yet also longed for your near. There was a constant battle going on within him. Renji wanted to be in control of you, wanted to ensure you wouldn't hurt him any further. And that's something he let you know.
He kept you locked up in your room. In return, he didn't stay at Itori's place and came home almost every day. But he also brought Tetsuo along the majority of the time. When he didn't, he pondered on the thought of sleeping with you, often even asked for it. Renji was hoping it'd somehow bring back that connection, that intimacy he always felt with you. It was his attempt at getting closer to you again. That you didn't deny him, fearing of losing him if you would, surprised him. However, in the end, it was him that couldn't go on. You exchanged sloppy kisses, rarely more passionate ones but before it would be taken further, Renji remembered what you did. He couldn't switch off his brain, couldn't deny how much it disgusted him. And he let you know.
Brushing it off was impossible for you. Rejection's never nice. But you weren't willing to give up, still did your very best to convince him of your love. You even managed to increase your interactions with Tetsuo! Renji didn't approve of that, though. He didn't want Tetsuo to think he had another mother - or even end up confusing who his mother was. Often, your attempts were met with anger instead of appreciation. After all, you were trying to accept his child as best as you could, fought tears for it almost daily. Seeing Tetsuo, being reminded of Ryuu everytime, was hardly bearable for you. It got easier the more often you saw him but each time the corners of his mouth lifted, you were ready to cry. But you didn't. Not once. At least not when Renji was nearby.
Although Renji was with you almost daily, you were still feeling jealous of Itori. That was something you simply couldn't shake off. Each time she came to pick Tetsuo up, each time she kissed his check or even ran her hand along his arms, you were about to blow up. The way she grinned, shot glances at you, you knew she was doing this on purpose. And she was. But letting Renji know only resulted in another argument. He despised your never-ending jealousy, even let her run her hand across his chest. It didn't seem weird to him as most actions were coupled with her interacting with Tetsuo. You, on the other hand, were boiling, concealing it with a smile for the sake of your relationship, though.
Saying that you were working out, would be a blatant lie. It was a struggle. Every day was a new struggle. Arguments were a daily thing. Most times, Renji accused you, brought back his hatred for your actions and shouted it in your face. He was hurting greatly. But so were you.
YOU ARE READING
Traitor (Renji Yomo x Reader) [Continued in a second book!]
Fanfiction"The past is the past and I am letting it kill me." Betrayed and forgotten. Lonely. No forgiveness. No trust. The past defines who you are - there's no option of going back and fixing it. It will get in your way. It will hold you back. It will destr...