Traitor (Renji Yomo x Reader) [Continued in a second book!]

Steam

It didn't even take three hours before I knew these two or three days - which was Yoshimura's maximum - would feel like the longest days in existence. No, not because I wouldn't go to work and instead waste away in this tiny room. It was because Touka kept glaring at me whenever she passed by and suddenly found a billion reasons to do so. Watching us became her favorite thing within an hour. It was like she was desperately trying to annoy us and spy on our conversations. I knew she was far from trusting me but her constant attempts of listening to what we were saying quickly got on my nerves. When Renji asked her about it, she denied everything. Now, we were staying in the meeting room which also functioned as a shared room for everyone, so we knew it wouldn't be the most private place but we had zero privacy. It made both of us very uncomfortable. Especially the bathroom situation was almost unbearable. We had to share it with Yoshimura, Hinami and Touka. Two of them definitely tried to make our life hell by either randomly locking the door or staying inside for ages. Even if it wasn't on purpose, it definitely felt like it was.

Our sleeping situation was kind of weird. Renji and I each had a small couch. Instead of sleeping next to each other, we were sleeping on the opposite side of the room. Or at least it felt that way, in reality, we were only a few feet away from each other. It was no big deal but it was.. Quite weird to sleep alone, only wrapped up in a blanket, since we usually slept entwined in each other's arms. Hearing him breathe was the only reassurance I had that he was with me. And, oh god, I needed that reassurance. Just this little distance between us made me feel incredibly lonely and at the same time pathetic for feeling this way. My mind was clouded with so many things again. While I really didn't care about our distance when we were napping yesterday, after we arrived, it really mattered at night. Our first night sleeping here, yesterday, was terrible. I woke up from another nightmare, this time adding corpses talking to me, guilt tripping me, and couldn't keep myself from shedding tears once I awoke. Renji usually heard me or noticed the shifting of my body and then started comforting me, but here, he was fast asleep. Though I really needed his hug, I didn't wake him up. That I still heavily depended on him just made me feel worse.

Now that was yesterday, today was even worse. So far Touka was my literal shadow while Renji was out working. I canceled my job, only to have Touka laugh at me in her waitress gear. I expected her to have to go to school, Renji told me she was trying to live a normal life - something I thought we'd have in common - but she didn't?! She stayed at the café all day long, spending all her time making random infuriating comments on whatever I was talking to with Hinami - because, on a side note, Hinami was a literal angel that wanted to spend time with me. Touka was completely watching over me in the worst way ever, mocking my words, mimicking me when I mentioned something she didn't agree on, so.. Everything basically.

It was a living hell to have to be with her. At least I got a 2-hour timeout as she had to take over a short shift. That's when I relapsed into a very angry behavior. This lack of privacy was driving me nuts and it had barely been over 30h since we arrived here. Renji's constant avoiding of any loving gestures was just making everything worse. To him, this was still the public, we were not actually alone. Therefore, he didn't show any affection. But he defended me when Touka was trying to be funny with her idiotic remarks. Still, that was not what I initially needed. Altogether, I felt lonely.

Those couple of hours here drove me mad and made me want to punch Touka to the moon. It didn't matter that she was Renji's niece anymore, she was just some annoying female in my eyes. The amount of stress she added onto my life in such a short time was incredible. Touka made me want to run off and clear my name as fast as possible, risking it all in one go. She gave me multiple impulses of beating the shit out of her and running off into my own demise. So far I managed to hold back and just ignore her, knowing I'd be thrown out if I misbehaved and also knowing that there was no place to go. Besides that, Renji would probably break up with me, or so I thought.