Traitor (Renji Yomo x Reader) [Continued in a second book!]

Attempt

Over the next couple of days, Renji grew a little more distant again.

We barely spoke and whenever I tried to ask him about his drinking behavior he closed up entirely. He didn't even apologize for forgetting to pick me up that one time.

And even though it just kept getting colder outside, he went back to sleeping on the couch.

Our relationship genuinely confused me - it was just another thing adding up to my stress.

My stress-level was generally really high. Not being able to eat anything - even though I took the pills - was probably one of the many causes for it, same goes for sleeping, and of course my past and my family were still bothering me, too.

The tests and assignment-due-dates came closer and closer as well and I still had a hard time focussing on anything for more than 5 minutes. That really caused trouble for me when I was sitting in a huge room filled with a lot of people at a small desk with the test on top of it. Everyone was writing, processing through it while I stared at it and hoped for some sort of help from above.

I ended up handing an empty paper in - which basically meant that I'd get in trouble later on.

More stress.

The following tests over the next weeks went just as bad. Learning was completely pointless and a waste of time.

There was no way I'd hand in the assignments either. I just didn't have enough motivation and power to write down about 25+ pages. My body and my brain were overly exhausted. All I could think about was resting, sleeping and taking naps. Or well.. At least that was what I really wanted to do - I actually kept thinking and worrying about my future, my past, Renji and my family. While I started to get used to the thought of basically having been a slave for some years, I surely didn't like it and didn't want to accept it. Like.. I wasn't as shocked as I was when I first remembered but it was still a strange and unbelievable fact to me. Also, Renji didn't know yet. I decided to keep it a secret until the time was right - but the right time so far never came.

By now it's been four weeks since Renji's last drunk experience.

Well, at least it was the last one I actually encountered. Sometimes he just didn't come home after 'work' until I was asleep. And I actually found a few empty wine bottles at his place.

It was quite disappointing to me but I didn't know how to address the problem since he always tried to avoid talking to me.

Also, it's been four weeks since I found out about some parts of my past.

Something that was still always on my mind and something I'd have to conclude very, very soon because it's been taking too much time off my life.

One positive thing was that the ghouls didn't attack us over the last weeks. Things were rather quiet in that department. But that would've been icing on the cake anyway so I was grateful that they left us alone for now.

So now that everything university related was over for a couple of weeks for the holidays, I wanted to come clean with Renji. I wanted to tell him everything and I hoped he'd do the same in return. He was the only 'family' I had.. Now that Christmas was slowly coming up, I wanted to be on good terms with him.

♦♦♦

Renji was still at work while I decided to cook dinner.

Even if I couldn't really enjoy eating, I still wanted to cook something for me.

Deep inside I still hoped I could eat normal again and I mean.. It actually worked sometimes - otherwise, I'd be dead by now - but most of the time.. Almost always.. It didn't.