Traitor (Renji Yomo x Reader) [Continued in a second book!]

The Wake (Funeral 2/3)

Over the following hours, we prepared ourselves. Both mentally and physically. We all threw on our prettiest clothes. I actively chose, for the first time since Renji's assault, to wear a dress. It was simple, plain black and going down to my knees. On top of it, I wore a simple black coat. And after we spoke to various neighbors because I didn't have fitting shoes, a pair of.. Somewhat matching black chelsea boots was lent to me. I didn't quite know how to walk on them, though..

Since this was bound to be a sad ceremony, I decided to not style my hair anyhow. That way I could easily use it to hide my face. Speaking of my face, I used minimal makeup. Mostly around my eyes to hide the dark circles around them. Of course, I made sure it was waterproof - just in case my feelings would hit me again. After I was done getting dressed, I quickly packed the most important items and clothes into a bag because we wouldn't be staying the night here.

It was late when we were picked up by a car. A wake was apparently held in the evening. Due to the sun setting earlier in winter, it was already dark at 6pm when the door bell rang. Chigyou picked us up.

The entire day felt like a bad joke and a terrible nightmare at the same time. I couldn't feel anything, I was completely numb. My medication kept some sadness away but it didn't help ease the numbness. All of it combined made me feel like a lifeless corpse. Someone walking around like a zombie. In the end, I was acting even more clingy with Renji. I didn't mean to and part of me didn't even want to be near him but I.. I needed him. Some part of me at least did.

While we were sitting in the car, I held onto his hand. We sat in the backseat, Koutarou in the front next to Chigyou who was driving. The drive took forever. I didn't even know what to say or do, I just sat there, glancing at my feet. Even though I knew that Ryuu was gone, it simply.. It never sank in entirely. That someone so young, so innocent and sweet was taken out of nowhere didn't make sense to me. But it never will.

We were the first ones to arrive at the temple the ceremony would be held at. Which was no surprise. We came early to make sure everything was set up properly. Chigyou wanted to ensure we would approve of what he organized.

The place was decorated nicely. Flowers were in all corners and especially around.. His coffin. The second I saw his coffin, my heart broke all over again. It wasn't the simple wooden coffin we saw earlier that morning, no. It was a much smaller, baby coffin. One specifically made for him. The casket was colored in a couple of shades of blue but mainly baby-blue. White ornaments and ribbons were all over it but what hurt the most was a little angel drawn onto the piece of wood that could be moved to reveal his face. Renji and I both decided to take a look at him before others would. And god, he wore a tiny black suit. For some reason, his favorite plushies were beside him and he had a binky in his mouth. My heart shattered. He also held onto his favorite cloth, the one he always used to cuddle with which also had a sheep plushy attached to it. Koutarou must've given his stuff to the guys from the service earlier.