Traitor (Renji Yomo x Reader) [Continued in a second book!]

Best Friends

Although I originally planned on visiting Koutarou, I actually found the peaceful sleep I was yearning for first. A couple of hours passed by in which I finally managed to restore my energy. No nightmares, no repeatedly waking up - just dreaming of better days while I held on to my teddy bear. While I was asleep, I smiled at Ryuu who was cheerfully playing with his toys in my dream but the moment I woke up, I felt this everlasting emptiness again. To say I woke up on a happy note would be a lie. I missed my little bean. I'll always miss him.

Once I felt decent enough to go into public, I hopped into some comfortable clothes and made my way over to my best friends place. For my own sake, I sought distraction. Everything involving Renji fed me up. Just imagining him and Itori spending time together made me feel sick. And Koutarou was incredible at lifting my mood, so it was only natural I was looking out for him. And he was also the best at listening to my complaints. His advice was so.. honest yet caring - it was exactly what I needed.

Taking a deep breath, I knocked on Koutarou's door, silently praying that he was actually home. Luckily, he was.

"... Hey" he greeted me, his stoic expression forming to a worried one.

"Hey" I replied, faking a smile for him, "Can I come in?"

"Sure" he nodded, stepping aside so I could walk past him and into his room.

Heading inside, I immediately sighed, unable to hold back my disappointment in Renji.

"What's wrong?" he asked right away, closing his door before putting a hand on my shoulder, guiding me towards his couch.

"Renji has a kid.." I blurted out, lowering my eyes to the ground as I sat down.

".. What?" Koutarou wondered, slowly beginning to frown while he sat down beside me - he couldn't believe what I said either.

"He knocked Itori up while we weren't dating.. She gave birth two months ago.." I continued to spill, "It's a baby boy.."

Saying it aloud made me feel worse all over again. It just didn't sink in that the guy I wanted to have a family with, suddenly had a family on his own - one in which I was .. More or less.. A side chick. If anything I wanted this all to be a bad joke.

"He.. -.. Wow.." Koutarou murmured, searching for words to say, "I'm.. I'm sorry."

"It's just so unbelievable that he..-.. Look, he knew the second she called him because she was in labor. And he kept it a damn secret for two months.. I'm.." I babbled, unsure of where to start and how to explain how I felt, "I understand it must've been hard for him, too - after all, he just lost Ryuu, too. And he had no idea he was going to be a father again but just.. This is..-- I.."

"It's okay. This must be overwhelming for you" Koutarou was quick to jump in, carefully wrapping his arms around my shoulders in case I wasn't into hugging today, would feel triggered by it.

Usually, his behavior would've warmed my heart. He was always so considerate of my feelings, so careful not to trigger any bad memories - it was lovely and highly appreciated. But right now, I was too fed up to even think about it. Regardless of that, I approved of his hug, I let him pull me closer to his body and let him embrace me. His warmth made me feel just as safe as Renji's usually did. I knew Koutarou wouldn't even let a fly hurt me.