Traitor (Renji Yomo x Reader) [Continued in a second book!]

Tetsuo

There was no way I could calm down while he was gone. I was way too nervous, confused - an emotional wreck. Even though I used to be tired, I was now an impatient mess. To release some tension, I walked up and down along our room. If he really was the father of another son, it would heavily impact my life, too. So far, I had no idea if I could accept it. We were both still mourning our precious Ryuu and we were both still dealing with his loss. Just imagining to care for some other child was impossible for me.

It all makes sense now.. The reason he didn't come home sometimes was that he stayed with his child..

Feeling pressure build inside of me, I started scratching my arm again.

If Itori's the mother.. That means he's been with her all this time, too..

Mixed emotions were painted all over my face. Anger, sadness, fear, jealousy. How was I supposed to feel about this? This situation was way too vague for me to make anything out of it. Everything was possible. It was still possible that he was playing a cruel trick on me and that this kid somehow wasn't his.

Maybe he's just experiencing a phase of denial in which he can't accept that Ryuu died.. And now he's convinced he's alive or something - but then he wouldn't have told me that he's not talking about our son..

The more I thought about it, the worse I began to feel. My heartbeat increased tremendously to the point it started to ache, so I decided to take a sip of water and some deep breaths. Although Renji brought my medicine, my heart was still weak. The pills didn't seem to do much work at the moment. Whenever it was beating too hard, it ached. On top of that, my stomach started turning at the thought of seeing a baby. It was already hard to watch Touka's bump grow.. But seeing a baby? How was I supposed to handle that?

If I remember correctly.. Renji was with Itori while I was pregnant. They were dating until sometime before Ryuu was diagnosed.. Unless he actually had sex with multiple women, she really is the only one that could possibly be the mother of his child..

While Renji and I spoke about a lot and didn't keep any secrets - or so I thought - we never mentioned our short relationships with Itori and Koutarou. I certainly didn't want to know more details than he already gave me while he was angry at me back then. Anything more would only end up disgusting me.. And Renji just didn't seem to care about any intimate details oKoutarou and me - and I was actually very glad about that.

However, right now, knowing that he was potentially spending time with Itori and their son, made me feel unbearably jealous. They were exes and although Koutarou and I were exes too, they were different. Itori never missed a chance to flirt with him and was totally after him. She still wanted to be with him.

What if she's wrapping him around her finger..? What if he cheats? Why out of all the people it had to be Itori?!

Itori screamed danger, I didn't want her near my boyfriend. Whenever she showed up, something went wrong. But if she was the mother of Renji's son.. She would constantly be bound to my life.

Calm down.. Nothing's confirmed. Don't drive yourself nuts over your own speculations.