If you're seeing this published for a 2nd time, I just changed the title
A/N: So I've decided to do something different and release the first chapter of this episode as I finish up the rest of the chapters so I don't leave you guys starving for content for too long. So, to clarify, this is the only chapter being publishrd tonight.
Also, this episode is set between episode 11 and 12, so it's 11.5 obviously, and I haven't really thought of a name for this episode, so maybe I'll come back later and make one.
I know some of the scenes from the Michael episode haven't been done yet, but we're going to pretend all of those scenes occur the beginning of the week that is after Michael week, which is this week. So, technically Michael week is over, but they'll still be doing the MJ performances and all that stuff next chapter.
Julia angrily ripped her hair tie out of her hair for about the tenth time, letting her hair fall out of the tight high ponytail and onto her shoulders. She had spent way too much time trying to get the relatively unimportant ponytail exactly perfect and it was getting to her.
Whether this unnecessary strive for perfection was a method of coping, or whether it was just another way to beat herself up, Julia didn't know. All she knew at this point was a broken heart that felt different from any other heartbreak she had felt before.
A lifetime ago, Julia had thought she knew what love was, being around Spencer or Layton. But being around Santana was entirely different.
It was that indescribable feelng Julia got when Santana smiled or that warm sensation she experienced when Santana wrapped her arms around her and kissed her. It wasn't like anything she had ever felt with any of her past boyfriends or any boy for that matter; it was deeper.
But because Julia's love was so much stronger for Santana, the heartbreak was stronger as well.
Julia kept flip flopping between two destructive emotions; anger and despair, a more than deadly combo.
At first, Julia couldn't help but angry at Santana. The moment in that Dalton parking lot kept flooding her memory, Julia practically re-hearing Santana's scathing words and feeling the spit flying onto her face everytime she recalled the bitter moment in her mind.
Julia wondered if Santana had been holding back all those spiteful words the entire time as the freckled girl couldn't remember doing anything that horrible to provoke Santana like that. Julia tried so hard to hate Santana because of it.
But at some point, Julia couldn't loathe her ex-girlfriend who she was still madly in love with (even though she wished she wasn't) and that hatred turned toward herself. Julia began to beat herself up for not knowing the answers to any of the looming questions in her head and had to ask herself if she had actually been the cause of this mess all along unintentionally, as she was often at the core of similar problems.
And all that blaming herself and the realization that Santana was no longer hers absolutely shattered Julia. She was just the shell of the person she was last week and tears drops could constantly be found trailing down her cheeks, from loud sobs, to silent tears, and everything in between.
It didn't help that literally everything she saw at her high school made her think of Santana or one of the many memories they had shared. Whether it was walking by the gym lockers where they had first met or simply just glancing down the hallway where they had shared a kiss last Friday, it all felt like Julia's own personal hell.
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Freckles ➳ Santana Lopez (re-writing)
Fanfiction"I want to be with you. And not just as friends." *** Julia Mendoza appeared to have the world at her feet. She was your cliche, mean, popular cheerleader with a whole lot of sass, completing the Fearsome Foursome which ruled McKinley High and con...
