larry smut

the ballad of an assassin

https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Bottom_Harry_Fic_Exchange/works/3489800

i'm sorry loves i can't help myself we're back to lots of top louis :p enjoy!

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December 15th, 2014. The Office of Dr. Wexler

Louis Tomlinson-Styles sat with a still smile, his husband Harry on the chair next to him. They both had their hands folded in their laps as they smiled at the marriage counselor across from them. "First of all," Louis started, leaning forward onto his knees, "I would just like to say that we don't have to be here. We were at a charity auction with our friends, the Carlson's, and we had a little-" Harry cut him off by clearing his throat and Louis bit his lip before continuing, "I had a little too much to drink and, long story short, we won four sessions with Dr. Wexler."

Harry gave a forced laugh, "The Carlson's are funny like that."

"But you didn't have to come," Dr. Wexler pointed out, writing something on a clipboard in front of him. Harry bit his lip, looking over at Louis who looked back at him with a stumped expression.

"Right," Louis said, looking back at Dr. Wexler with the same forced smile, "But we have a theory." Harry's smile returned at the mention of their theory.

"Absolutely," Harry said with a small, forced laugh, "We call it The Oil Check Theory."

"The Oil Check Theory?" Dr. Wexler asked, giving both of them a look. Harry nodded and Louis took that as a go-ahead to explain the theory that both of them had come up with the night before to stop themselves from thinking that they wanted to go to Dr. Wexler because they were in a failed marriage.

"Right, the Oil Check Theory." Louis said slowly, refolding his hands in his lap, "You see, we've been married for five-"

"Six." Harry cut him off briskly.

Louis bit his tongue and smiled at his husband before starting over. "We've been married for five, six years, and this is a sort of checkup for us." Dr. Wexler gave him another perplexed look and Louis continued, "You know, pop the hood, nose around, change the oil, maybe replace a seal or two." He trailed off with another weak chuckle and Dr. Wexler ran his tongue over his teeth before looking over at the couple.

"Alright," He said, looking down at the clipboard in front of him. "I'm just going to ask you a few questions and I want you to answer instinctively." Harry and Louis both nodded. "On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you as a couple?"

"Eight," Harry answered quickly, looking over at Louis with an expectant look on his face, as if he was expecting him to answer at the exact same time with the exact same answer.

Louis chuckled weakly, leaning forward onto his hands, "Wait, so is ten perfectly happy and one is utterly..." He trailed off, looking over at Harry, "miserable?"

"Please just answer instinctively." Dr. Wexler repeated. Harry shot Louis another look and Louis smiled at Dr. Wexler, a big, fake smile, before replying.

"Eight."

"Alright," Dr. Wexler replied, writing that down on his clipboard before looking back up at the couple, "On a scale of one to ten, how happy would you say your partner is?"

"Eight," Louis responded, looking over at Harry when he didn't reply the same way. Harry tilted his head to the right.

"Are we allowed to have fractions?" Harry asked. Louis threw him a look and Harry shrugged, "Well."

"You have to answer instinctively." Louis said. Harry nodded before looking back at Dr. Wexler.

"Eight."