In The Blink Of An Eye

Alone With My Pain

As Phil stood there in front of me, I fell to the ground and broke down crying. 

"Please don't cry. I know you're hurt but he's not worth it. Let's get you in the house."

He picked me up and walked me into the house. When my friends saw, they rushed over to comfort me. I was not even aware of anything going on. At that point, I felt dead.  How could Jake do that to me? How could he after everything and knowing what I had to go through to get him out? None of it made any sense to me. That was not the Jake I knew and loved. 

I sat on the couch crying and Jessy walked over to me with a glass of water. 

"Please drink, you look like you're going to pass out. Honey, you need to relax. If something happens to you we're going to be the ones hurt, not him."

"I knew she shouldn't have trusted him. I told her."

"DAN!!! NOT NOW." Cleo shouted. 

"Do you want me to get you anything?" Asked Richy.

I didn't have the strength to answer anything to anybody. I just sat there, frozen in disbelief. 

"Oh, actually Richy, could you hand me my phone?" Said Jessy. 

Richy got up, walked over and grabbed Jessy's phone. She grabbed it and walked out to the front to call someone. As she got up, I looked around and saw everyone there except for Lilly. She was there earlier, where was she now? I really appreciated everyone being here for me, but I just couldn't take everyone staring and running around. I left the room and walked to a bedroom to be alone. They all stayed behind as I slammed the door shut. Of course they wanted to follow me, but they didn't. They all just figured it was better to leave me alone and give me time. 

I laid on the bed, got my phone and started looking at our past conversations, between Jake and I. With each text, each emoji, each word my heart broke more. I was crying so hard that I felt like I was drowning in my own tears. From all the pain and suffering I had been through for the past few months, none of them compared to this. Not only was it emotionally painful, but physically too. I could literally feel my heart hurting. 

I couldn't understand why he would do such a thing, why would he not want to see me? Was it because of Evan, or Silas? Who knows he probably found out about Phil and Richy too. No wonder he didn't want to talk to me or ever see me again. He could have at least called to tell me.  Out of nowhere someone opened my door. I didn't even bother looking to see who it was. 

With my head turned against the door, and my body covered with a bedsheet, I mumbled under my breath. 

"Please leave me alone. I don't want to talk."

I didn't hear anybody. Nobody answered back. Weird, I was sure I heard the door open. And within a few seconds, I felt someone hand on my arm. 

"I just want to be alone please."

"Even from me?"

It was Evan. I hadn't seen him in more than a week. We barely even talked. Not that we didn't want to, we just figured it was best if we didn't. It was extremely hard, for both of us. He was the least person I was expecting to see. Well, besides Jake. 

"Not now Evan. All I want is to be left alone."

"Will you at least just turn around and look at me? And I promise I will leave."

That was the last thing I wanted to do. To look at him! I knew the minute I saw him I would begin to cry and I didn't have anymore tears left. My head was throbbing, my throat was dry, and my eyes felt like they were on fire. I couldn't take seeing anybody else right now.