In The Blink Of An Eye

Unimaginable Pain

April 9th, 7:55 a.m…

Thursday morning! One of the best and the worst days of my life. A day I could have never imagined in a million lifetimes. I was so happy and excited that our healthy, perfect little baby boy was finally here. Jake was over the moon excited! I had never seen him this happy. I watched him fall in love with me and then I watched him fall in love with Lilli but now watching him hold our son in his arms for the first time was the most incredible feeling in the world. 

Everything was normal. I gave birth and the nurses in the room measured and weighed him. 21.3 inches long and 8.1 pound healthy baby. My delivery had gone as smoothly as it possibly could have. The nurses came in and washed him and wrapped him up in the little blanket before she handed him back to me. 

He laid on my chest and fell asleep peacefully as Jake sat down next to me rubbing his little back and holding my hand. 

Everything really was perfect!!! 

My dad and Lilli were on their way to the hospital. Jake had already called my siblings and our friends to let them know that I had successfully given birth. When the nurse asked for his name, we had nothing to tell her. I wasn't expecting to give birth this early on so we hadn't asked Lilli for his name yet. Which was the first mistake we made that day. Too bad I couldn't have known that when the nurse came in and asked for his name. 

Shortly after, my dad and Lilli arrived. The minute Lilli laid her eyes on her brother, she burst out in tears. My dad came up and kissed me on the forehead and touched his little cheek. Seeing my dad become a grandpa for the second time made me very emotional. 

It was hard because the last time I did this, I had my mom next to my side. 

"Well honey…I think it's time you tell us what you have decided to name your baby brother. The nurse already came in and asked for his name" I exclaimed. 

"His name is Jayden Silas Donovan," she replied. 

Jake and I looked at each other and smiled. I knew it!!! I had a feeling deep in my heart that she was going to give him Silas as his middle name. I couldn't blame her, Silas was her best friend and the person she looked up to for such a long time. 

"That is a beautiful name honey" exclaimed Jake. 

"He's right baby, you did a wonderful job. I'm sure your brother is going to love his name." 

"I love his name too. I think it fits him so well" my dad continued. 

Well, there it was. My little Jayden Silas Donovan, our perfect little angel. My dad and Lilli stayed with us for a while before they headed back home. I was getting really tired and the medication they gave me to make sure I wouldn't have issues with my placenta and uterus this time around, was really kicking in. I could feel my eyes getting heavier and my body was extremely tired. 

"Honey, you should take a nap. I'll be here the entire time. Plus, Jayden is sleeping." 

"I will, I just need to wait for the nurse to come in. It's my lactation specialist and she needs to talk to me. But as soon as she leaves, I'm definitely taking a little nap." 

"Do you want me to go get you something to drink or eat while you wait for her?" 

"I could honestly eat a cheeseburger right now, I'm starving." 

"I will go get it right now while Jayden is sleeping. I'll be back as soon as possible."

"Okay sweetie. Thank you." 

Once Jake left, I sat in the room looking at Jayden sleeping. I truly forgot how tiny they are once they are born. It's crazy how fast they grow and become these amazing little humans right in front of your eyes. He had the sweetest little face! His cheeks were so rosy and he had this little dimple on the right side of his mouth that was so noticeable every time he made that pouting face or when he was about to cry.