In The Blink Of An Eye

Complexity

Jake wanted to go back to the hotel where my dad and siblings were but I didn't want to so we ended up going back to the hotel I stayed at the first night. I wasn't trying to avoid my dad or even my siblings, I just hadn't made up my mind whether I wanted to tell Jake the truth yet or not.

Lilli was asleep by the time we got to the hotel. She has always liked falling asleep in cars. When we got there, Jake carried Lilli to the room and placed her on the bed where she just continued sleeping. Jake and I weren't sleepy so we stayed up talking about everything like the day we just had, our wedding, the honeymoon, even about babies. Suddenly, he turned to me and asked.

"What happened when you went to see your dad?"

"Nothing much, we just talked."

"You don't really expect me to believe that, do you?"

"Well that's what happened so I hope that you do believe me."

"What are you hiding from me? You know I can sense when something is wrong."

"I'm telling you there is nothing. Can we just stop talking about that now?"

"Fine whatever you want."

I did want him to stop talking about it but when he says "whatever you want" I want to slap him across the face because I know that's not what he wants. Ahhh the joy of being a woman!!! One minute we say one thing the next minute we don't even know what it is that we want. I just told me to change the subject and when he finally does it, it gets me mad that he's changing the subject. Then we want to know why men keep saying that we are complicated...because we are. It's almost as if we want them to be able to read our minds. I can guarantee that even if they could, we would still find a way to get mad and make things complicated. I am not ashamed to say that I am in fact one of those women that think that males are complicated and hard to understand. I stand by that 100% but when I actually think about it, men aren't complicated...they are just too simple for women to understand. Men can have one and one thought running through their head for an hour straight, meanwhile a woman in that same hour will have a hundred different thoughts. You see, we are just way too complex to understand the simplicity of men.

At least that's what I like to tell myself in order to feel better about my actions.

"What do you mean whatever I want?"

"What I just said... whatever you want."

"I suggest you stop getting an attitude with me because I'm really not in the mood for this crap right now."

"I'm just doing what you told me to do. I don't know why you're getting mad."

"Because you're making me mad!!!"

"I'm making you mad? How, by changing the subject or by doing what you told me to do? You're not mad at me, you're mad at whatever happened between you and your father."

"How about you keep my father out of this?"

"Okay!"

Now again... I was very well aware that I had absolutely no right or reason to be mad at him, none at all. But, I still continued. Why? Well, I actually hoped that it would get bad enough to where we would both want to go to sleep. Otherwise I was scared I was going to spill out everything and end up regretting it for the rest of my life. I don't know, maybe I was also being very selfish. I had come all this way and we were so close to our wedding that I didn't want anything ruining or getting in the way of that. The reality of it was that Jake knowing the truth about Hannah and what she did would cause an argument between them if not even something worse and I didn't want to deal with all that before our wedding.