In The Blink Of An Eye

Stroke

Finally after what seemed like a lifetime, a nurse came and walked over to me. 

"Are you his daughter?" 

"Yes I am and I need answers on what happened to my dad. I know he didn't just fall."

"Has your father ever complained of any pain or discomfort?" 

"No. He was fine. When I left the house he was okay and wasn't in any type of pain. What is going on?"

"Your father suffered a stroke. He just got out of his surgery and is in the recovery room. You will be able to visit him shortly but please have patience and understanding and don't be surprised if he doesn't remember or seem the same."

"Seem the same? What do you mean?"

"He might have emotional and personality changes due to the stroke. Just be prepared for anything."

Once she said that, I froze. 

I couldn't imagine being around my dad and him being someone I couldn't even recognize. It was bad enough I had lost my mom, now my dad was alive but it was like he wasn't even there. 

I rushed over to my brother and sister and told them the news. Of course as you can imagine, they were completely devastated and scared. Shortly after, we went to his room to visit him. We all wanted to go in together but the last thing I wanted was for my dad to feel overwhelmed and end up causing him more problems. 

One by one we went inside and visited him. 

All I have to say is that my dad was there physically but mentally or emotionally...he might as well have been dead because he didn't know anything. The worst part, he didn't even recognize me. My sister and brother, somewhat for a few minutes here and there but me? Not at all. He had no idea who I was. Now imagine my shock and heartbreak when I found out that my own father didn't know who I was. 

The doctor kept on telling me how it was only temporary and how people get their memory back after a couple of months but it all felt like a lie to me. I've seen what stroke does to people from personal experience in my life. I didn't need anybody to tell me anything. I was aware of the situation and I knew that the minute I walked out of the might have been the last time I saw my dad normal and himself. 

Honestly, on top of everything else I already had going on I didn't need this. I was supposed to get married and my dad was supposed to walk me down the aisle.

As bad as it hurt to see that he couldn't recognize me, I was even more scared to face the fact that he might not recognize Lilli either. She is a child, I can't explain to her why her grandfather doesn't know who she is. What was I supposed to tell her? What was I supposed to do? 

After a few hours of being at the hospital I headed back home. My sister and brother stayed at the hospital while I went back to check on Lilli. I couldn't help either one of them by being there and plus Lilli needed me to go home and be there for her as well.

When I arrived home I found Jake and Lilli in her room. She was already asleep and he was laying next to her awake. As soon as he saw me he got up and walked over to hug me. I was already crying as soon as I walked into the house and saw the place where my dad fell. I was in tears as soon as I realized when we brought him home he might not even recognize where he is at. 

"Honey it's going to be okay. What happened? Let's go to the living room and talk."

We walked back to the living room and left Lilli sleeping in the room. I sat down on the couch and Jake sat down in front of me on the edge of the coffee table. He grabbed my hands in his and kept on rubbing my hands with his fingers.