In The Blink Of An Eye

Saving Grace

As I stood there looking at him, I came to the realization that the Silas I had met, was gone. Even with a miracle, that he makes it out alive... he was never going to be the same. I heard the doctors talking when they thought I wasn't listening, I heard everything they said. Sepsis wasn't just an infection you could take a couple of antibiotics and get better with, it was a life sentence. Multiple organ failure, risk of brain damage, risk of limb amputation, and a risk of him never making it out of here, not alive. I think at one point in my life, I believed in miracles. But now... I didn't know what to believe! One by one, everything I seemed to care about was being taken away from me and I was sure I was living to make up for some horrible mistake I had made in my past life. Nothing else seemed to make any sense!!!

As much as I felt like I was being punished, I looked at Silas, thought about Jake, remembered Hannah and Richy and I was ready to fight like hell. I was ready to find the person behind all this if it was going to cost me my life, I wasn't going to give up. I wasn't doing this for me, but for all of them. I grab Silas by the hand as I am standing there hovering over his body, and I could have sworn he grabbed me back. "Silas, stay with me. Be strong and fight. You can't give up, not right now and not this way. I know you can hear me and I know you're in there, please don't leave me. I need you to fight like you've never fought before! I need you to open your eyes and come back home with me. This can't be the end of your story, I won't let it be."

That's when I saw it, a single tear fell from his eye and rolled down his pale white cheek. I knew it! I knew he could hear me. I ran out screaming for the nurses and doctors to come in there. The nurses come rushing in with the doctor following them, as they burst into his room.

"What is going on? Did something happen?"

"He is in there, he heard me speaking to him. He grabbed my hand and I just saw a tear come down."

"He is in an induced coma, he is not dead. But, I hate to inform you, the reactions you saw are just part of his body reacting to the medication. He can't hear you."

"I am telling you he grabbed my hand and he squeezed it as he cried. What part of that do you people not understand?"

"I understand that this must be extremely hard on you. I also understand that grief and pain is hard, but you need to go get some water and relax because you seem like you're going to pass out."

"I AM NOT THE ONE FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE!!! So how about instead of wasting your time with me, you do something to save his life."

"It's going to take days for his body to fight off this infection, if he even does. You have to understand that the survival rate of this kind of Sepsis is very low. You can't be here all the time, not sleeping, not eating, not taking a break and not looking after yourself. Look, I'm going to say this..."

"How about you save the speech for someone else? I am aware of everything that I am doing, and I am telling you that I'm fine. Now... get back to Silas and help him out. I will not leave an inch from here until I see you doing everything you can to help him beat this. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"

"I am going to be very upfront with you. This is going to take a while. I know who you are and I also know that you ran away from your unit to come here even before you have been admitted out. Now, I can either let you stay here, or I can send you back down. Your decision! But you're also hurt and unless you take very good care of your wound and yourself, you're going to end up in the hospital too."

"Unless you're going to call the cops on me and have me arrested, I am not going anywhere. I think I made myself very clear and I will not repeat myself one more time."

"Are you always this hard headed?"

"Very much so!"

"Okay, starve from hunger or get severe dehydration, you're in my unit. So if you do pass out, guess who's going to be the one in control of everything that happens to you? I am!!! So go ahead, continue."