In The Blink Of An Eye

Afraid To Live

We woke up the next day around noon. We were all exhausted plus for the first time in years it actually felt good to sleep in and do nothing. We were only there for Saturday and Sunday and we had to go back home. Today was Sunday morning so we spent the whole day together while Aileen and Jake got to know each other. 

I was actually quite shocked at how well they got along. If anything, they were too similar. 

"So Jake, tell me, what is it about my sister you love the most?" 

"You mean besides the fact that she is a total badass and sexy while being one? Everything! She is sweet, caring, kind, determined, loyal, family oriented, smart, funny, intelligent, a great friend, wonderful daughter and not to mention an amazing mother." 

"Wow, you really must love her. I hope I find someone who loves me that much one day."

"You will but you just have to learn not to give up on them even when everyone around you says so. Plus, hopefully you'll find a man who won't be into all this messy business that I am." 

"No offense, but I would never date someone like you. I mean not as a person, I think you're great, I mean your job."

See at this moment I prayed that she didn't. He was right and that was one of my biggest wishes for her. Not because they were bad men or anything but I know how hard it is to be with one without feeling like all that baggage from his job gets carried with him no matter where he goes. But I also know you never say never. Because somehow life always finds a way for that never to turn into a possibility. 

Aileen would eventually end up finding out just how wrong she was by saying NEVER. 

But for now...let's get back to where we were. 

"How is school going?" I asked. 

"It's okay I was failing a couple of classes thanks to that idiot but I'll get back on track now with him gone out of my life. I still can't believe he wanted to kill me… I had nightmares about that last night." 

"Don't think about that anymore. It's over and nothing happened."

"How did you even find me?" 

"One good thing about having a hacker boyfriend, he knows how to find anybody hehe." 

"Hey, I'm more than just a hacker you know?" Said Jake jokingly. 

We spent the rest of the day together and went to get coffee and have lunch together. It felt so nice to be able to go outside and enjoy the day instead of being cooped up inside the house all the time like we were in jail. I actually don't remember the last time I felt this free to be out of the house. Not that we should have felt free, especially with more people after us but at this point I don't think either of us cared. 

Don't get me wrong, I wanted him out of my life forever and I wanted all of them to pay for all the things they had put us through but the thing is I was done being scared and I was done running around and hiding. Not because he couldn't hurt me or even worse, but I just knew that either way I wasn't safe so might as well get out and do things instead of sitting in a house and praying he didn't find me, which he always did. 

The one thing that still scared me though was the fact that I had a small child to worry about. She didn't understand that someone was after mommy or that she had to be careful or that she was in any danger. How could I even tell her that? She was soon turning five and I had no way to even celebrate her birthday properly because we were so far away from all friends and family. At five years old I couldn't sit her down and explain these kinds of things to her. She was a smart girl, very smart but I couldn't do that to her mentally and physically, to put her through that kind of stress at such a young age.