In The Blink Of An Eye

Alone on Wedding Night

I felt like everything was already falling apart so I grabbed my dress into my hand and quickly ran to the car. Even this dumb ass weather wasn't giving up. I honestly don't remember the last time it rained this much! Maybe this storm was a reflection of my life, dark and stormy right now but eventually the storm always finds a way to clear. It never rains constantly and continuously, even on the darkest days there is a gap in the clouds for the light to shine through. It's hard while it's raining and you're trying to figure out a way not to get caught in the storm but once the storm is over you won't even remember how you made it through. Actually, just because the clouds clear up doesn't mean that there isn't another storm right around the corner. You never truly know when and if the storm is over. But one thing is for certain, when you come out of the storm you won't be the same person you were when you walked in.

My life had become a rainstorm of its own.

There were times I managed to hide from the rain without getting caught in the middle while other times I was stuck in the middle of the storm with no way out. I've been soaking wet and I've been dry but all I know is the person I was before my life turned into this crazy rollercoaster and the person I am now, are two different people. Maybe the thing I was going through right now was just another one of those storms I had to find a way to survive and get out of. I don't know what was waiting for me on the other side but I knew that no matter what, there was some sunshine.

By the time I made it to my car I was completely wet. I sat in the car and I couldn't move. I broke down in tears as soon as I slammed the door shut. This was supposed to be one of the best days of my life and it ended up being one of the worst.

I know I shouldn't have done this and I was aware of how dangerous it was but the entire drive home, I cried.

I cried not only because of everything that was going on but also because I was tired. I was tired of trying so hard only to feel like a total failure at the end. I felt like no matter what I did or how much I tried to improve my life, I managed to go right back to the beginning where I started, alone, scared and confused. I wasn't crying because of one thing, I was crying over built up anger and emotions that I've been holding in for way too long. The only time I truly let myself feel every emotion I was going through was when Evan died. Everything other than that I suppressed all of my emotions either to protect myself or to protect someone else and I was tired of holding it all in. I wanted to go on top of a mountain and scream on top of my lungs. I wanted to disappear to never be seen again and then pop up in a foreign country in ten years with a different name. I wanted to live a life that nobody knew anything about but I couldn't. I couldn't do that because of the people I cared about and that cared about me.

When I finally pulled up to the hotel parking lot, I got out of the car as quickly as I could and made my way to the room.

"Good night Ms.Connolly... Oh my! You look beautiful!" Exclaimed the older women at the front.

"Thank you Mrs.Aldington. You have yourself a good night as well."

"I'm assuming it's no longer Ms.Connolly. What should I call you now?"

"Mrs.Donovan will do."

"Well congratulations Mrs.Donovan. I know you're in a rush to go upstairs to your husband so I'll let you get going."

Wait...did that mean that she's seen Jake? He must be in the room. I smiled and waved goodbye to her and went upstairs to find Jake. I was so sure that he was in the room waiting for me. He knew that I would come, he wouldn't just leave me without telling me where he's going no matter how mad he was.

I open the room door and make my way inside certain that when I turn the corner I would see Jake there.

"Jake... are you in here?" I shouted.