In The Blink Of An Eye

I Wanted Him

WARNING
This chapter contains explicit sexual language and acts. Please be advised.

When we went back into the house, my dad and brother were already asleep. We sat in the living room talking for a while before we went to sleep as well. As I laid next to him, for the first time since I have been with him I wanted to be closer to him physically. He didn't ask for anything, he just gave me the same kiss he always did. I wanted to open up to him more physically and let him get to see that side of me that I had kept hidden within myself. I have wanted to be with Jake ever since I first met him, he was very attractive, tall, dark, handsome, strong and of course I imagined a million times what it would be like to be with him. But, everything I thought about it my desire would be outrun by my fear and negative emotions that came with it.

I leaned in closer to him as he noticed and wrapped his arms around me. He held me tightly like a little kid. I didn't have a reason to feel this way around him, Jake loved me just as much as I loved him if not even more. I knew that he wouldn't do anything to hurt me and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. So, I kissed him. Not the usual kiss we always shared but I kissed him in a way that I never had before, at least not him.

He kissed me back letting me know that what I was feeling wasn't something he didn't want as well. I knew that he wanted me just as badly.

I got on top of him and started kissing him more passionately as he placed his hands on my lower back and traced his fingers on my skin. The touch of his fingers against my skin sent shivers down my body as if I had just been electrocuted. As we continued to make out, I slowly went down to the base of his neck and began to gently kiss him and lick his neck. I knew that was his weak spot just like it was mine. I knew that by doing that I would make him go wild and that's exactly what I wanted. I wanted that passion and desire inside of him that he had been putting to the side but the one I already saw come out once before to come out again. I wanted him to crave me with every inch of his being. I didn't just want to have sex with him, no...

I wanted that burning, wild, passionate, steaming, freaky side to come out and play. I wanted to make love to him in ways that I have never done before. I wanted to feel him in ways I have never felt any other man. I wanted him in ways that I didn't even know I had inside of me.

I wondered for a moment where I had been hiding all this passion and desire that I had for him. I didn't just get it now, I have been dreaming of this day long before I even saw him in person. I remember we would talk online and he would go offline when I least expected him to and I wished so bad that he was close to me so I could get all that anger and frustration out on him and make him pay.

Now that he was here in front of me, I felt his arms and body against mine.... I wanted to make him pay.

I wanted to make him pay for all the hurt, all the heartbreak, all the sadness and tears. But, I also wanted to make love to him as gently and as passionately as possible for all the love, care, warmth, and sacrifice he had made and given me.

How was I supposed to mix these two strong emotions into one incredible night of sex?

That rage that was burning inside of me wanted that kinky, wild, hard-core, erotic, animal sex. The kind that caused pain but the kind of pain that made you want it more and the kind that got your blood and heart pumping with more of that steamy, dirty, raunchy kind of energy. The kind where we ripped our clothes off each other and left prints of desire and passion on each other's bodies just to wake up the next morning and look at it and be reminded of the dirty, crazy, wild animals sex you just had.