In The Blink Of An Eye

Reverse Psychology

Jake has been in love with me even when I thought he walked out of my life and didn't care about me, he did. He was protecting me and keeping me safe while he watched me fall in love, marry and have a baby with another guy. I never once stopped to think how he must have felt being there to watch all that happen while I didn't even know that he was watching. Most people would at least try to hide that happiness but I didn't because I had no idea he was there to see it all. He watched me be extremely happy and then watched me be extremely heartbroken and torn apart for another man.

"I have to say one more thing. Madisyn, Jake isn't the only one with that fear."

"The fear of losing me?"

"No, the fear of losing the person you love. You have the same exact fear. You lost your mother and your ex husband so the idea of losing Jake too now kills you without you even realizing it. As much as you don't want to admit it and try to act like you can handle anything that gets thrown your way, you're scared."

"Of course I'm scared. I don't even want to think about it..."

"Exactly! You don't think about it. Jake thinks about it too much and you don't think about it at all. However, the pain and fear is eating both of you alive and tearing you guys apart without either of you seeing it happen. Jake's nightmares will stop the minute he focuses on the fact that you're alive and that you're there with him now. Madisyn... you need to think about losing Jake."

"What??? Why the hell would you tell her to do that?" Exclaimed Jake.

"You want me to focus on losing the man I love?"

"I want you to accept the fact that it's a possibility and that it can happen. It's not about focusing on losing him, it's about being prepared to lose him without completely losing yourself. From what Jake told me, if it wasn't for him jumping in to save you last second you would have been dead. You tried to kill yourself!! If something happens to Jake, who's going to save you this time?"

"I... but how?..."

"Madisyn, listen to me. Losing someone you love is the hardest thing ever that happens to anybody. I understand how hard and impossible your life has been, not just yours but both of your lives. However, I need you to be able to survive that pain. I need you to be able to allow Jake to be a human being who's capable of dying. He's not that superhero you have created him to be and the one he has been for you up until now. He's not. He is human, made of flesh and bones and if something happens to him right now I can tell you that you won't make it and it will end up killing you."

"She didn't die after Evan or her mom..."

"No she didn't Jake, you're right. Only because you were that superhero who jumped in and saved her. What happens if you're not there to save her next time? What happens if you don't make it on time or you don't succeed?"

"Jake...he's right. If you didn't save me that night, I would have been dead. I am scared...no, not scared. I am terrified of losing you. I feel like I already lost you once. Yes I found Evan and I fell in love with him but Jake... when you didn't show up at that door that day I felt like my whole world came crashing down. I felt broken, unwanted, unloved, betrayed, and devastated. I fell in love with Evan because he helped me heal the wound you created in my heart."

"Madisyn, I'm scared of losing you to the point where I'm having nightmares because I already lost you once. Almost twice! No, actually almost multiple times including the latest when you got shot. I have always loved you from the moment we met as crazy as that sounds. Losing you was one of the most difficult things in my life and the idea of losing you ever again breaks me to pieces. I never want to imagine my life without you."