In The Blink Of An Eye

Eight Weeks

"Ms.Connolly?? Are you still there?"

How? How was this possible? I just recently had my menstrual cycle. I mean I did, right? Right? Omg when was the last time I actually had my period?? Could it be possible that I was so distracted and busy with everything going on that I totally forgot how long it's been since I had my period? No way! Impossible!!! I always keep track of these things. Always!

"Ms.Connolly?"

"Yes sorry... I'm here. I just..."

"Shocked?? Well, according to your blood work you're eight weeks pregnant. However, you need to set up an appointment with your gynecologist to do an ultrasound to get a more accurate date."

Gynecologist? I didn't even know where the regular doctor was here let alone the gynecologist. Plus the last time I saw a gynecologist was when I was pushing Lilli out. Omg! I was not ready to do that again. I couldn't believe I was going to be a mom to two. My life was a mess right now and I wasn't even the mom I should have been to Lilli and now I had to figure out a way how to be a good mom to two kids.

"Ummm yeah, yeah I'll do that. Thank you so much."

"And Ms.Connolly, remember no medication, and stay away from alcohol and cigarettes."

"I will be sure to do that."

"Well congratulations once again and have a wonderful day."

"Thank you. You have a nice day as well."

I don't even remember if I had a drink for my wedding nonetheless before that. Eight weeks? That's like two months! I have been sick so badly and pregnancy not once crossed my mind because I was so sure that I had my menstrual cycle just recently. I mean I even told my dad that. Speaking of my dad...how was I supposed to tell him that I was pregnant and not even with Jake anymore?

OMG Jake!!!

I wanted to call him right away and tell him the news. He was going to be so excited! But, I couldn't. I didn't want him coming back or being with me only because I was pregnant. I didn't want the baby to be the reason why we were together. If he wanted to come back it would have to be because of me and because of Lilli. I couldn't tell him that we had a baby on the way and he was so quick to walk out of the life of the one he already had. How could I be okay with him coming back and being a part of our lives knowing that the reason he came back would be solely because of the pregnancy? I couldn't allow that to happen.

I know that most of you are thinking it's not fair for Jake to not know or to hide the pregnancy from him and I agree. Under normal conditions something like that would have never crossed my mind. Plus, it's not like I was going to hide it forever. I just needed to give myself and give Jake some time to see how things were going to play out before I told him the truth.

However, just because I couldn't tell Jake doesn't mean that I was going to keep this all to myself.

Yes, the time of this pregnancy wasn't the most ideal but I was excited and I was happy. After all, maybe this pregnancy and the baby was the chance for me to be the mother I was not given a chance to be with Lilli. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous and scared, I was. But, Jake being in my life or not wasn't going to change the fact that I was pregnant and that this pregnancy might be the blessing I needed after all the horrible things that have happened to me. With that being said, there was no way I could keep this to myself.

"Hi Madi... how are you?"

"I'm doing okay, how are you?"

"I'm good, thank you. I was just putting my daughter down for a nap. What are you doing?"