In The Blink Of An Eye

A Small Scare

That night after we got home from Jessy's birthday party, I laid next to Jake as we normally did every single night. We only had a couple of more days to sleep at this hotel room before we moved into our apartment. I don't know if that was the reason or the fact that I couldn't stop thinking about the party and the way everyone acted, but I couldn't fall asleep. I looked over and saw that Jake was long asleep and snoring as if he hadn't slept in a year. I didn't want to wake him up by twisting and turning in bed so I carefully snuck out of bed and went to sit in the TV room. Both Lilli and Jake were asleep and I was the only one awake. 

The longer I sat there all alone, the more my thoughts and emotions began to mess with me. I couldn't shake this odd feeling no matter how much I tried. I was eight weeks pregnant when I found out and it's been two months since the day I found out which would mean that I was past four months currently. At this stage with Lilli, I had already felt her move. However this time around, I hadn't felt not even a single flutter up until now. The feelings inside of me were not letting me rest or calm down. So… I grabbed my laptop and looked for other doctors close by. I already had a doctor that I was supposed to go to but the fact that I hadn't been to see him yet was making me feel uneasy. I decided to look for another doctor and call early in the morning and make an appointment there instead. 

After searching for some time, I found a doctor close to the prior doctor and decided to go and see him during the first available opening they had. 

Maybe it was the fact that finding another doctor gave me some peace or if it was the fact that it was getting very late, but I was finally getting sleepy. At least sleepy enough to be able to close my eyes and get some rest. I didn't even bother going back into the room where Jake was. Instead, I just covered myself and fell asleep on the couch while watching the TV. 

"Babe wake up!" I heard Jake exclaim as he tried waking me up. 

I slowly opened my eyes and saw him standing next to me. 

"Why are you asleep here? Why did you even leave the bedroom??"

"I couldn't fall asleep and I didn't want to wake you up by turning and twisting. I must have just fallen asleep here while I was watching TV."

"Are you hungry? Is there anything you'd like to eat?" He asked. 

"Not really but thank you though. I do have a favor to ask."

"Go ahead babe…what is it?" 

"Do you mind staying with Lilli and giving her something to eat once she wakes up while I go to the store? I need to get a few things but I don't want to wake her up yet." 

"You shouldn't have to ask me that, I'm her father. Of course I will stay with her."

"I won't be long! I just need a few things and I will be back soon." 

"Take your time honey. Lilli and I will be just fine." 

"I love you." 

"I love you too." 

"I'm going to get ready really quickly." 

I leaned over and kissed Jake who sat on the edge of the couch listening to me speak. I rushed over and got dressed before I ended up being late to the appointment. 

By the way… I woke up earlier this morning and made an appointment while Jake and Lilli were still asleep. That's most likely why I ended up falling back asleep again.  I had fallen asleep a little before five in the morning and I was up by eight to make an appointment. The lady that answered the phone scheduled me for 11:45 for an exam with the doctor. I was sad that I was lying to Jake and that I was going to see the baby by myself but I just had this weird feeling that something was wrong and I didn't want him to be found out by someone else. I wanted to be the one that told him just in case I got some horrible news from the doctor today. I was so excited to finally get to see the baby but at the same time I was also so scared of what they would say. Everywhere I read it said that I should have felt the baby by now and that I should be showing, but I wasn't.