In The Blink Of An Eye

Nothing To Lose

Actually now that I look back, almost everyone is gone except for my family and Silas. It was already late and I wanted to get back to the hotel just in case Jake was there. I went back inside to get Lilli and to pick up the last few things. On my way back I saw Silas leaning against the wall. He looked zoned out and I can understand why. After all, he just found out he was going to be a father and God knows how long he and Candace have known each other. Plus their relationship couldn't have been that serious if there ever was a relationship since Candace clearly wanted to be back with Jake. I was hoping he wouldn't see me so I could just get past him and go inside. Well, he did see me. In fact, it seemed that he was waiting for me.

"Hey Madi...do you have a minute?"

"Jake is gone and I have to go look for him plus my daughter is inside."

"Look I understand that you don't want to talk to me and I will go look for Jake, it's late for you to be out all alone."

"Yeah I don't think Jake wants to see you."

"Not anymore than he wants to see you right now."

"Omg! I can't believe I did that. What the hell was I thinking? It's our wedding day for God's sake and I'm concerned about you sleeping with someone."

"Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"There is nothing to talk about Silas. I just got a little mad because I care about you. You've been there for me whenever I needed you and I thought that at least you'd introduce us to the girl you've been talking to but you didn't. My reaction was very inappropriate and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have reacted that way."

"Let me say something! I didn't introduce her to anybody because I wasn't talking to her. We saw each other a couple of times and had sex, that was as far as things went. That night at the bar I was drunk. I kept thinking about you and I wanted to find you to express all my feelings to you but I couldn't. So...I got drunk. I saw Candace sitting alone looking just as sad and down as I was and one thing led to another and we ended up having sex."

"Silas, you don't need to explain anything to me. You have the right to do whatever you want. I guess I just didn't expect you to become a dad, at least not in that way. But I'm..."

"Don't say you're happy for me. You would be lying just as much as I lied when I said I was happy about you and Jake, and when I said I was happy that you were getting married."

"But I am happy for you! You love kids and you're going to be an amazing father. Lilli loves you and I know how much you're going to give to make sure your child has everything they need."

"Madisyn...I was in love with you! Before you say anything just listen to me. I know you love Jake, I've known that from the first time I saw you look at him. But, I fell in love with you I think from the moment you walked into that hotel lobby. I wish I told you how I felt, I wish I expressed myself to you but I was scared. Sleeping with you wasn't something I just did like you said earlier. I didn't have sex with you, I made love to you and you know it. That night when I got shot those men weren't coming for me, they were coming for you. As soon as I saw them roll down that window I knew they were going to shoot you. I didn't think twice about jumping in front of you. Even when I knew that you were always going to choose Jake I still loved you with everything I had. I knew I was going to lose you and I still continued falling in love with you in ways I've never loved anybody else."

"Silas, please stop. I'm begging you."

"I was heartbroken when you left with Jake. I knew it was going to happen but it didn't hurt any less. I wanted to go away and never see either of you again because I couldn't stand the thought of seeing you with him. But, the thought of never seeing you again hurt even more. So I put all my feelings aside and became your friend. Your reaction tonight wasn't because you're in love with me, it was because for a single minute you remembered us making love and got mad at the thought that I did that with anybody else but you. It's normal, we're humans. We think about the past even when we're currently happy in our lives. You love Jake and you're happy with him. I mean you said a million times that you would never fall in love again but the only reason you fell in love with Jake was because you never stopped loving him. Nobody else had the chance to get to your heart, nobody!"