In The Blink Of An Eye

Nine Days

"Hi, how are you feeling? Are you up to try and eat something?" Asked Jessy.

"No thank you. I'm not hungry!"

"Madisyn, you need to try. You haven't eaten anything in days" continued Lilly.

"It's okay. I just want to be left alone."

"We're not leaving you despite what you're saying" exclaimed Hannah.

"You really need to eat Madisyn. At least let me make you a smoothie."

"Okay fine."

Jessy got up and made me a smoothie. She handed it to me and I took a sip and put it on the side table of the bed. They could see that I really wanted to be alone. I appreciated them being here and helping me out but I wasn't in the mood to talk or eat or drink...or anything, really.

"Hey, we'll be in the living room. Shout if you need anything okay?"

"Okay Lilly."

I gave birth to my son on April 9th and came home on April 11th with no baby. I came to a house full of things ready for him but with no child in my arms. I felt broken!!! I felt like my life was over and I had died yet I was like a zombie just walking around. Thankfully Jake was able to take Lilli to her grandparents house because the last thing I wanted her to see me was like this. She must have asked a thousand times where her baby brother was when we came home from the hospital. All I did was cry and scream on top of my lungs. I couldn't have her stay here and witness my mental and physical destruction. She had already been through more than any child ever should have to go through.

Today it was April 18th and here I was lying on this bed crying to myself wondering if my son was even alive? Even if he was only God knows where he was at. So much for the hospital cameras huh? I guess if you know your way around the hospital you're able to get out without being seen, at least not much.

It's been a week since I arrived at this empty house. Jake hasn't been home much. He's constantly out with Richy, Phil, and Thomas looking and searching. I don't want to tell him not to and I don't have the heart to stop him but it's useless.

I just see him come home every day after no success, more broken and damaged than the day before.

I physically have no strength left in me to even get up to the restroom. I feel like every time I stand up, I'm going to pass out and nobody would be able to wake me up anymore. I am not just physically but both mentally and emotionally drained and exhausted. I'm tired of crying but how do I stop when Jayden is not here?

"Who would do such a thing?" I keep asking myself?

The worst part is that I had to give up that poor other baby that day at the hospital. I had to let the doctors take him not knowing what was going to happen to him. I took care of him those first few hours because no baby should be brought into the world and be left all alone. He didn't deserve to not feel the warmth of skin or have someone pick him up when he cried. I fed him and held him in my arms and I made sure that he was warm and safe while my heart was yearning for my son.

Turns out that he was a very sick baby and the nurse told the parents that he didn't make it and died in the NICU. It was the same nurse that came to get my son. She told those poor parents that their son had died and walked them to the morgue and allowed them to hold a baby that had actually died, letting them think it was their son. As if that wasn't horrible enough, she came to our room and told me that my son needed to get his vaccination, took him out of the room and brought back another baby while she ran off with my son in her arms.

All while dressed as a nurse and gaining people's trust.

Nobody suspected anything. Mom's are exhausted and half asleep from giving birth and the medication. Dad's are busy running around getting things done and she comes in and switches babies while everyone around her thinks she was doing her job.