In The Blink Of An Eye

First Time Holding Him

As Jake and I came up to the room I saw a police officer holding a baby in her arms. I couldn't see them because she was facing the opposite direction. My hands were shaking so bad because I knew the minute she turned around, I was going to find out the truth. Just as Jake was about to grab the door to open it, the other male police officer grabbed his hand to stop him. 

"I just want to give you guys a warning before you walk in there…" 

"Why does everyone keep saying that? Warning for what???" I shouted. "I just want to see my son!"

"Officer, whatever it is we are prepared to see. We came here to get our son and get him back home. I don't care about anything else" continued Jake. 

"Fair enough! Go ahead, go in.

See, but the thing is we weren't prepared. At least I wasn't! There was no way I could be prepared for what I was about to see or experience. The minute the police officer turned around, I was going to experience something nobody, and I mean nobody could have ever prepared me for. 

Any second now my life was completely about to change! 

Slowly the police officer turned around and I froze. I stood there in complete shock. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, I couldn't even make a sound. Jake had been holding my hand prior to us entering the room. The only thing I felt was him squeezing my hand harder and giving out a big shocking sound. I was STUNNED! Imagine me, who always had something to say even when I should be quiet, not having anything to say. That should tell you just how confused, pissed, shocked, terrified, and disappointed I was. Those words don't even began to cover everything I was feeling but those are the only words that came to my mind at the time. 

"Hi..." She quickly said. 

I just looked at her in complete shock. I couldn't say anything. 

"Ma'am, are you okay? Do you want to sit down??" 

"Sit down? No! I want to grab my son and walk out of here never again looking back." 

"HOW COULD YOU???" I shouted. 

"Madisyn I, I am so sorry. I wanted to call and tell you so many times. You have no idea how hard…"

"Jake, can you grab Jayden please and give me a second." 

I didn't even have time to look at my own son. I didn't have time to see how he was or if he was hurt or even Jayden… I just wanted to protect him from what was about to happen. Jake grabbed the baby out of her arms and left the room and stepped outside with the other police officer. 

"DON'T YOU DARE TALK TO ME ABOUT HOW I HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD SOMETHING IS. ALL I FUCKEN KNOW IS HARD! EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE FOR THE PAST FEW YEARS HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT HARD." 

"Madisyn...sweetie, I am so sorry." 

"NO MOM, YOU DON'T GET TO BE SORRY! YOU DON'T GET TO SAY ANYTHING. YOU'VE HAD YEARS...YEARS TO CONTACT ME AND TELL ME THE TRUTH. DO YOU REALIZE THE AMOUNT OF PAIN I WAS IN, NO...THE AMOUNT OF PAIN WE WERE IN THINKING YOU WERE DEAD?" 

"I couldn't tell you the truth Madi. The same people who were after me the first time were going to get you as well. I had to act like I was dead and disappear. Once I came here, I became a police officer in order to protect people. I felt like I couldn't protect you. I failed as your mother so I pledged to help other people."

"Congratulations! I'm so happy everything worked out for you. I guess you children were easy to replace with a new job and a new place to live." 

"Madisyn it's not like that. I just wanted to protect you. Please try to understand…"