In The Blink Of An Eye

Blame & Shock

I had to call my brother and sister, and I had to tell them that I was alive. At least while I was still actually alive. I wanted to hear them and tell them the truth, but I had no idea how. I didn't even know where to begin. How could I have let them think I was dead this whole time? How could I have let them suffer and be sad thinking their sister was dead while I was actually alive? They were never going to forgive me, and they had every right not to. I don't think I would have forgiven them either… 

But—I would have also just been happy that they were alive. 

Jake looked at me, knowing what I was about to do. He didn't say a single word. He didn't even know what to say. He was scared and also nervous for me. I was nervous for myself! 

As I took in one last breath, I dialed my brother's number. I wanted to call him first because I knew how much harder the conversation was going to be with my sister. Not that it wasn't going to be hard with my brother, but he was a lot stronger than my sister was. As I took the last breath, I waited for him to answer. Not even a minute later, I heard his voice. 

"Hello? Who's this?" He said.

I couldn't say anything! I wanted to just tell him that it was me, I wanted to cry and shout that I was alive, but I froze. I panicked when I heard his voice. 

"Hello?? Is anybody there?" He asked 

"Hi…" I said softly.

"Who's this?"

"It's me...Madi…"

He stood quietly without saying anything. I don't know whether he was shocked, scared, or didn't believe me, but he didn't say anything. 

"I don't know where to begin explaining. I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to stay quiet about the whole truth but…"

"I don't care!!! I don't care about any of it. I'm just so happy that you're alive and well, " he said while crying.

"I am so sorry that I didn't call you sooner. You have no idea how hard this has been for me to hide and keep to myself. I needed to hide and protect the rest of you. I couldn't risk something happening to you or to Aileen."

"Where are you now?? When can I see you?"

"I'm far from home. I don't know when I will be back. But, the minute I get back home, I promise I will see you both! I haven't even been able to see Lilli since I came here."

"Have you talked to Aileen? I am just so happy to hear your voice. You have no idea how I have been feeling. I was so sad and heartbroken, but deep inside, I knew you weren't dead. I just felt it. I knew there was no way you could be."

"I still haven't talked to her. I am beyond nervous to call her and talk to her. She is going to freak out, and I'm not ready to hear her crying. How has she been? I know! I felt horrible doing this. I felt so wrong hiding and making you two believe I was dead. Jake is the one who saved me, I'm actually with him right now?"

"Jake??? The same Jake that put you through hell? The same Jake that walked away when you needed him the most? What the hell is he doing there?"

He was so mad. I don't blame him, I mean, I would be too. After everything I have been through with Jake, it's not like I expected him to be happy or even understand. Nobody was going to understand, and that was something I was very much prepared for. After attacking them all for even mentioning his name for years, I didn't expect them to just not suddenly understand why I was with him or even how. 

"I know you're mad. But, it's not what you think. He saved my life, and he saved Lilli's life…"

He didn't even let me finish what I was going to say before he continued to speak.