In The Blink Of An Eye

The Unknown

As Jake led me to the bedroom I could feel my knees and legs shake as my heart pounded so hard I thought it was going to pop out of my chest. With every step I took I wanted to take five steps back and tell them that I didn't want to know who he was. It's not like I had to know right? What difference would it even make now? Whoever he was, he was behind bars and never would be able to hurt me again. Why was it necessary for me to put myself through the stress and shock of finding out? I wanted to just move on with my life and never look back at this part of my life ever again.

Just as we entered the room and Jake made me sit down as he grabbed my hands inside of his I realized that I couldn't do it. After everything the MWAF had put me through and I made it out alive, I no longer could allow for him to control or mess up any part of my life from behind bars the same way he did while he was out. The minute I found out who he or she was, I'd never be able to get that out of my mind. Finding out would become a burden I'd have to carry around for the rest of my life and I didn't want that, not after everything I have already been through because of him. He no longer had control of my life... I did!

"Jake, wait, I don't want to know."

"Madisyn, what the hell are you talking about? How could you not want to know?"

"I just don't. Whoever it was, it doesn't matter anymore. He can't hurt me ever again so no, I don't want to know."

"You don't understand. This isn't just anybody..."

"I don't care. Whoever it was, I don't care. I don't want to know who the hell the person was that ruined my life for the past couple of years. I don't care what his motives were or what he was all upset about. I've given him enough of my time and life, he doesn't get anything else from me anymore."

"But, I... you... how could you just not care?"

"All I know is that he tried to kill me, or she...for all I know it could have been a female all along. It makes no difference, they tried to take my life and leave my daughter with no parent. They have done everything in their power to make my life a living hell and in the end, I won. That's all that matters."

"Madisyn, you really don't understand. I think you need to know because he's..."

"DON'T YOU DARE!!! I SAID I DON'T WANT TO KNOW. LET'S JUST LEAVE IT AT THAT AND GO BACK TO OUR LIVES."

Jake looked at me as if I had completely lost my mind. I didn't blame him, I felt like I was out of my mind too. For months I couldn't wait to finally find out and now that the time was here, I just couldn't do it. It's not that I didn't actually care or want to know, I just felt like without knowing I had more peace than I ever would once I found out. If I knew for sure it was just some random weirdo who went after people for his own pleasure it would hurt me less than to know it was someone I knew and by the way everyone around me acted, I was sure it was someone I would never get over.

Now that he was finally in jail and my brother and sister were going back to school at the end of the month, I felt like my work here was done. I didn't know where I wanted to go next but I knew it wasn't going to be here. Every second of the rest of my life here would remind me of all the horrible things. I wanted a fresh start somewhere where everything didn't remind me of him and how miserable I was. However, before we made the move and found the perfect place to call our own I wanted to go and visit my friends in Duskwood. After all, that is where it all started and that's where I wanted it all to end.

I wanted to spend time with my friends without having to worry about someone coming after one of us. I wanted our kids to play together in the backyard without having to stare at them every second with the fear someone would come and take them. I wanted to get married to Jake and have all my friends and family there. I wanted to be able to go with my daughter to the park and the store alone without having the fear that I would be dead before I made it back home. MWAF had taken way more than enough from me and I was no longer going to allow him to take a single second of my life. For the first time in many many years, I finally felt free. I felt like it was now time to start living and enjoying my life.

God, if only I knew how quickly things would change.

Meanwhile, things with Jake and I were...different to say the least. I decided to believe him not because I had to or it was the right thing to do but because believing him was less painful than imagining the worst case scenario where the man I love would look me in the eyes and lie that he didn't try to kill me. I couldn't go against my own heart no matter how hard my brain tried to convince me otherwise. All I knew for sure was how I felt when I was around him and that was the only thing that was certain for now, everything else seemed to be a guessing game. While I chose to believe him, it didn't mean that things between us just went back to normal the way they were before the incident because they definitely weren't. I would also be lying if I said that being around my family and not having to deal with my family falling apart once again wasn't something that I needed right now. The last thing I wanted after everything I had been through was to have to deal with watching my daughter lose another man in her life who she loves and cares about.

While things were not the way they used to be, we both tried our best to make things work as smoothly and as normally as we possibly could. Neither one of us wanted for Lilli to feel any kind of tension or weirdness around us.

This morning we woke up early in the morning and I wanted to do something that all normal families do. I wanted to go get breakfast with Jake and Lilli and then take her to the park. I wanted for us to spend time as a family and watch my daughter play and run around the park without having to constantly worry about something going wrong.

"Do you have any plans this morning?" I asked Jake as we laid in bed.

"No I don't. Why? What's going on?"

"Well it's the weekend and I figured it would be nice for you, Lilli and I to go get breakfast and take her to the park."

"I would love to. It's actually time we do something without having to worry all the time."

"I agree. I just want to get my life back to normal and plan for our futures together. I want to forget everything else like it never happened."

"Let's go get her and tell her then. She's going to be so excited."

"Okay let's go."

"Wait before we leave, I need to do something."

I looked at me confused, not having a single idea of what was going on. I just asked if he had things to do or had any plans...what did he have to do now? Before I could get out of bed Jake pulled me close to him and kissed me. It's been weeks since I got home and this was the first time we kissed. It felt like it was our very first time kissing. I felt tingles go down my body with each kiss he gave me. I don't know how I managed to sleep next to him for weeks without kissing him but I'm glad we both waited because right now it felt absolutely perfect. I've kissed him so many times before but this time it felt different, almost as if we were some crazy in love teenagers who were hiding their love from everyone and our passion and desire was forbidden to be seen. I didn't want him to stop kissing me.