In The Blink Of An Eye

Never-Ending Cycle

I couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when I changed. But, somewhere along the way over the past couple of years, I changed not only who I am on the outside to the world around me but who I was on the inside to myself. Most people look at change as a positive trait, and normally, I would too. But not right now. Right now, I am aware that change comes in two forms, good and bad. The good change is the one that makes you a better person, the one that makes you stronger, more positive, optimistic, kinder, more loving, accepting, outgoing, etc... Then, there is the bad kind of change. The change that makes you negative, pessimistic, mean, antisocial, defensive, reckless, etc...

Now, as much as I would love to say that I have changed for the better, I would be lying.

Of course, I didn't want to see the negative things about it. At least, I didn't want to admit them. But, if I was going to be honest... I would tell you right now that I had become someone I prayed that I would never be.

Did I like it? No, of course not.
Did I regret it? I would say I have... expect the fact that the person I had become was the reason I was still alive.

I can honestly say that if I hadn't changed the person I was, I wouldn't have been alive to this point. All I could do was hope and pray that once all this was over, I would change back to the person I used to be before all this.

With Thomas by my side, we went back to the living room to the rest of his family.

As we sat there and talked, I couldn't help but twitch at every single sound that I heard. But when I tell you I nearly had a heart attack when I heard the knock on the door. It was nearly 8 pm, and someone knocked on the door so loud I was a thousand percent sure it was the police looking for me. Thomas looked at me, grabbed me by my arm, and ran with me to the room.

"Stay here and don't make a sound. Whatever you do, don't you dare come out until I come and get you."

He ran back out of the room and closed the door behind him. As I stood there all alone, I was petrified. I was waiting for the moment the police would come bursting through that door to come and arrest me. I didn't know who was at the door or what was going on. All I could hear was the sound of talking coming from the walls. I hated waiting here. I hated not knowing what was going on. As each minute passed by, I got more and more anxious, but I was scared to make a sound or move.

Suddenly, I heard the door open. I felt my blood freeze inside my veins. I felt like I was going to pass out from the fear. I knew it was someone from the police and that my life was officially over.

"Madisyn, someone is here to see you. Please come out. He says he knows you and that he needs to talk to you," said Thomas.

"Thomas! What the hell are you talking about? Nobody knows I'm here. I'm not stepping a foot out of this room."

"He said his name is Silas."

"Silas??? What is he doing here?"

I ran out of the room to see Silas standing in the middle of the living room, pissed. I mean PISSED THE HELL OFF!!!

Before I could even open my mouth to say anything, he walked up to me and grabbed my arm.

"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKEN MIND?"

"How the fuck do you even know that I'm here?"

"Did you actually think I was going to let you leave to another country without being able to track you?"

"You're tracking me?!?"

"That's not the point right now. I sent you to another county so that you could escape, so that you would be safe. I sent you so that you wouldn't be found, not so you could get yourself into more shit. What did you do? You got yourself into a mess that I don't know how I'm supposed to get you out of. Where the hell am I supposed to send you now? Huh? WHERE???"