In The Blink Of An Eye

Time For The Truth

"I have been having horrible nightmares every single night. I know you heard me and you knew, why didn't you say anything?"

"Nightmares about what? I did hear you and I have been noticing your behavior. But I figured it was something from your past and when you woke up I didn't want to bring it up to upset you or make you sad."

"It's always the same nightmare about Lilli being taken away from me, from us."

"WHAT? How long has this been happening?"

"Since the day she was born. I'm scared all the time. I always feel like someone is watching me. That's the reason why I was so nervous about our friends coming to visit..."

"Wait.. you don't think they..."

"I don't know what I think anymore. I don't trust anybody around her."

"Calm down hun. Everything is going to be okay. Nothing will happen to Lilly. You're just scared because of all the stuff you've been through. And being around your friends probably brings back a lot of those horrible memories."

"I really hope you're right. I don't know what I would do if something ever happened to her."

He hugged me and held me in his arms. That night when I went to sleep, I had the horrible nightmare again. Someone was taking her away from me while she was screaming and crying. As I screamed out her name and cried out for her, I woke up. I was covered in sweat. Evan woke up and hugged me.

"Nightmare again?"

I just shook my head yes without saying anything. I was shaking. Evan got out of bed. I didn't know where he was going, but I didn't ask. Within a few minutes I saw him dragging Lillie's crib into our room with her still sleeping in it.

"From now on, she sleeps in our room with us," he said as he placed her crib next to our bed and locked the bedroom door shut.

He didn't do that because he was scared or even because he actually thought anything would happen to her. He did it so I would be at more peace knowing she is there right next to us. This was one of the million reasons why I loved him.

Couple of weeks passed by and I still kept getting the same nightmare over and over again. Evan suggested I see a psychologist, but I wasn't crazy, I just had nightmares. I refused to go at first until they were getting so bad I barely slept each night. I would wake up with dark circles around my eyes and I hardly had any energy throughout the day from being sleep deprived. Finally, I decided to go see a psychologist. Evan stayed home with Lilli while I went to visit Dr. Tabitha Bowman. She specialized in sleep and mental health psychology. I figured if anybody could help me, it would definitely be her. I walked to the door and through the glass, saw that she was sitting down behind her computer. I knocked before she answered.

"Come on in, it's open."

Wow she wasn't even going to get up? "How unprofessional" I thought to myself. I just opened the door and walked in.

Dr.Bowman: "Welcome, come on in. Sorry I didn't think you would make it on time. Nobody ever does hehe. I was just sending an email. My name is Dr.Tabitha Bowman."

Me: "Hi, nice to meet you. Yeah I have the habit of coming earlier than I expected. I never liked being late."

Dr.Bowman: "No wonder you can't sleep."

Me: "Excuse me?"

What in the world was she talking about? I could sleep just fine. As a matter of fact I would sleep perfectly if it wasn't for the damn nightmares. The ones she supposedly "specialized" in. Yeah, we'll see about that.