In The Blink Of An Eye

A Phone Call

TWO MONTHS LATER...

Lilli was absolutely in love with her baby brother. She loved everything about him and she truly enjoyed being an older sister. I must say, she was great at it. Jayden was growing and at his last doctor checkup he was three pounds over where he was supposed to be. He was a great eater! He ate about every two hours and he ate a lot. At this point I felt like a milk factory that was producing so much milk I could sell it. I wasn't complaining, I was actually grateful for every single bottle of milk because I was scared that due to all the stress and not feeding him for nine days after birth I wouldn't have any milk left.

My dad was still my father no matter what. He was staying with us and I didn't tell him anything that happened the day we went to pick Jayden up. I had only a few great things left in my life and I didn't want to risk ruining any of them. I don't know if he knew about my mom or not but if she wanted him to know that she was still alive, it was up to her to make that decision and call.

I went to visit Brayden a few days ago.

I know you're probably thinking how I could forgive Brayden after everything he's done but I couldn't forgive my mom and "my father". Well, Brayden was fucked up and he was in jail right where he belonged. He admitted to the things he's done and the reason I forgave him was because the only reason he's never been a part of my life was because of my parents. I just couldn't stand the idea of my mom being alive and never contacting me to tell me that she was okay and well. I understand that she was scared that I would get hurt, I even understand that she couldn't come back to Duskwood but she could have contacted me. She could have called at least once to tell me that she was alive.

I didn't plan on staying mad at her forever, I just couldn't afford to add anymore stress to my life right now.

As for my "father"...well, I don't know. I have lived my entire life not knowing this man and honestly I was fine living the rest of my life not knowing him. To me, he was a stranger. If one day down the road I get the need to talk to him or see him, I will. But until then, my life was fine the way it was right now.

Jake was a great father. I mean I already knew that based on how he was with Lilli, so the fact that he was wonderful with Jay didn't surprise me. He was always up whenever I had to feed Jayden. He made sure that I got all the rest I needed. He never once complained about having to change a single diaper and not to mention, he was amazing at putting him to sleep. He must have the magic touch or something because even when Jay was cranky, the minute Jake would hold him in his arms he would calm down.

I loved watching him become a father...

I will never forget the day, June 21st, 11 a.m.

I had just woken up for the third time since five in the morning to feed Jay. They all say, when the baby sleeps the mom sleeps. I think that's the only way I am somehow managing not looking like a zombie. For a baby, waking up every two hours was completely fine, but for me...well let's just say I haven't taken a proper shower in two months. My boobs were swollen and chapped from always having him on them and my under eyes looked like I had got punched in both of the eyes with a hammer. It's really true what they say, you forget all the hard times and all the sleeplessness as soon as you see your child. One little smile from them and you forget about all the pain. I must have looked like a zombie with Lilli too but thankfully, I forgot. Otherwise, I might have thought a little harder about deciding on a second kid.

As I was feeding Jay, my phone rang. I figured it must have been either one of my siblings calling to see Jay since it was the weekend and they were out of school or one of my friends. They were all absolutely obsessed with Jayden!