In The Blink Of An Eye

Lost In The Wind

He grabs my hand and starts walking me towards his car. I didn't know where he was taking me or why, but I wasn't going to fight it. I didn't have the strength, even if I tried. It seemed like no matter how much I slept, my body was just tired. I wish it was just my body, it was my mind, soul and heart. I was just EXHAUSTED!!! I didn't want to ask anything, I just followed him into his car.

"I will bring you back, but only because you want me to and I think you deserve to go. He did save your life, I know how much you want to be there. So... I will drop you back off. But for now, I am taking you out of here. You will not spend another second here when you don't need to."

I agreed and sat in his car. I didn't even know he had a Jeep, it was very nice. While he was driving me away, we mostly stayed quiet. I would see him looking at me, but I never looked back. I wasn't mad at him, I didn't hate him for taking me, I just didn't want to see the sadness in his eyes. I couldn't look at one more person and see how much pain they were in, especially when I knew I was the reason why. As he drove, I learned my head against the window and fell asleep. I'm sure he drove around so much longer than he needed to, but knowing Phil he wasn't going to wake me up. I don't think I was asleep long, but I woke up. I was surprised to see we were still driving, where was he taking me to? It felt like we had been driving for hours.

I looked out the window and saw the most beautiful field covered in red and yellow flowers. It looked like something from a dream, this couldn't have been a real place. It was beautiful!!! Not only was the field covered in flowers, but also so many butterflies, all kinds of colors and sizes. I have never seen something so breathtaking and yet peaceful at the same time. I don't know what Heaven is like, but this was as close to Heaven as I could get on Earth. Phil pulls over and parks his car.

"I wanted to bring you to a place that is as beautiful as you are. No more darkness, no more pain, sadness, worry, no blood, gunshots, man without a face, none of it. I want you to relax and get your mind off everything, and I mean everything while you're here. We don't even have to talk if you don't want to. We have waited this long, we can wait a while more. Jake will be fine, he will understand and he would want you to take care of yourself first too. Everyone is going to be okay, as long as you are. I know we probably never told you this, but you really are the piece that holds us all together."

"I.. I don't know what to say. I'm speechless."

"Even with everything going on, even when you didn't have to get involved in any of this, you did! That's who you are. No matter how scared you were, how worried you have been, how much pain you've been going through, you were always the one to help the rest of us out. You laughed for us when you didn't have the strength to laugh. You remained calm even when all you wanted to do was scream and run away. You are the one that never gave up! You didn't have a single reason to trust any of us, and you did. You welcomed all of us into your life with hands wide open. Now, let us and let me return the favor, at least for a while."

"Phil... I don't have the words to tell you what I feel right now. I can't even begin to explain how much that means to me and how happy you just made me. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart!"

I hugged him and held on tight! I wanted this moment to last forever. He came around and opened my door to the car. I got out and took one deep breath. Even the air was so different here, it was just so fresh and crisp. For the first time in so long I felt like I could finally breathe. This place gave me hope, strength and motivation to keep fighting and keep moving on, like everything was going to one day be okay. It had to be!!! As crazy as my life has been for a year now, I felt at peace here. If this was even one perfect of what Heaven was like, I knew that Silas was happy and at peace.

That's when I felt it, a breeze of wind passed right through me along with this beautiful white butterfly. The butterfly landed on my hand, and when the wind picked up speed it flew away as I smelled his cologne. That instant I felt peace and happiness in my heart, as a single tear came down my face. I don't know if I was ever the type to believe in life after death, angels or miracles but this was it. I knew in my heart that Silas was there. I could smell him, feel him next to me as this warmth passed within me which I have never felt before in my life. I'm sure Phil felt it too, he just stood there next to me in silence without saying a single word. I don't know if when we leave this Earth we go onto another life, I don't think anybody does. But right now, that is exactly what I needed to believe.