Shameless

87|F**k Paying it Forward

The twins and Ian went on a run when a woman stopped them. "You guys live up the street,right?" She asked. "Depends on who's asking." Carl said. "I'm Lula,I run the neighborhood watch program." Lula said.

"The neighborhood what?" Carla asked. "Several houses in the area have been broken into. We're asking everyone to stay alert. They took Miss Fenderson's ventilation machine two nights ago, and last night was Mr. Wilson across the street." Lula told them.

"The Desert Storm guy?" Carl asked. "They took his purple heart, and Sliver star from his mantle and his TV." Lula explained. "Messing with a veteran is a serious violation of everything we hold dear as Americans. What Intel do you have of perpetrators?" Carla asked.

"She means we'll take a flyer and keep an eye out." Ian said as he took a flyer. "Uh.." Lula said. "Thank you." Ian whistle. "Hey." He said as they continued to run.

~~

"Violating a veteran of Armed Forces requires an immediate show of counterinsurgency." Carl said as he,Carla and Ian, walked inside. "Shock and awe for those bitches." Carla said. Ian handed Lip the flyer. "Don't ask." He said.

"Fuck's a neighborhood watch?" Lip asked. "A club of George Zimmerman-type of pussies who aren't trained for military action." Carl said. "Oh,I think it's a group version of not minding your own business." Ian said as he filled a cup up with water.

"Fiona's gonna be pissy." Liam said as he walked into the kitchen. "Why what'd you do?" Lip asked. "Let Sean in." Liam said as his four older siblings looked at him. "What? Sean-Sean?" Lip asked. "He was here?" Ian asked.

"Yep,then he left." Liam said. "Fiona's gonna kill him." Carla said. "Sun salutation,fruits of my loins. And Carla. Am I hearing correctly? The Sean has returned?" Frank asked. "Yep." Liam said as he poured cereal into a bowl.

"This is a test of our family's spiritual growth. I forgive him and wish him peace on his journey." Frank said as Carla sat on the counter. "How much longer are we gonna be putting up with St.Francie of Southside?" Lip asked.

"Permanet life changed is a daily practice,Lip. I've just entered my symbolic 30s, and they require a new sense of maturity." Frank said. "What happened to your symbolic 20s?" Ian asked as he reached over and handed Carla a piece of chicken.

"We grow up fast in the age of enlightenment." Frank said as he opened the fridge. "That's great,so Frank's in his early 30s, and I'm back in puberty. I'm getting a boner every morning and having to whack off." Lip said.

"You're not getting laid?" Ian asked. "No,it's part of the rules of sobriety. You know,I'm supposed to stay away from relationships for a while." Lip said.

"Ooh,beware of rules,son. Real change happens when you reset your internal clock." Frank said. "Thanks for the fatherly advice." Lip said. "Your 30s are all about becoming a stand-up man. And learning to embrace fatherhood." Frank said.

"Too bad you're out of kids to screw up." Ian said. "That's so not true. I've still got Liam. He's the only Gallagher who hasn't been ruined by that whirlwind known as Monica. And I'm going to parent him the way I should've been parenting all along,right,son?" Frank asked.

"Let's get you to school on time. The first step in good parenting: punctuality." Frank said as him and Liam walked away.

~~

Carla fixed her military hat as she followed Carl. "Mr. Wilson. Carl Gallagher." Carl said. "Carla Gallagher,sir. We live up the street." Carla said. "C Company at Millberry Military Academy." Carl said as the twins saluted.

"I understand you were the victim of a robbery, and I just wanted to let you know,as a fellow man and woman in uniform,we're gonna do everything in our power to find that son of a bitch and show him that nobody fucks with a vet on my watch. We'll get you your medals back,sir"Carl said.