Shameless

90|Occupy Fiona

As the twins and Debbie ate breakfast, they listened to Fiona yell as her and Ian fought. "Think we should do something?" Debbie asked. "She survived prison. She can handle the Ice Bucket Challenge." Carla said.

"He's been icing her all week. Over a stupid church?" Debbie said as there was a muffled thud. "Who cares?" Debbie asked as muffled glass smashing came from upstairs. "He dose." The twins said simultaneously.

"So we shouldn't do anything?" Debbie asked. "Absolutely not. Squabbles between siblings are as old as time. Cain and Abel. Serena and Venus. George W. And Jeb." Frank said as he closed the dyer door.

"Hey,son,carls,what do you say you,uh,iron some military creases into my suit jacket?" Frank asked. "Need sharp corners today. Daddy's got a big job interview." Frank said as he buttoned his shirt.

"With lumber lot." Frank added. "Thought you already worked at Lumber Lot." Debbie said. "No,that's Lumber Lawn and Lighting,Debs,an entirely separate and sub-par institution form whence I have parted ways." Frank explained.

"Wait. You got fired?" Debbie asked. "I did not get fired." Frank said as Liam walked out of the basement. "Livestock's been fed and watered,sir and ma'am. Permission to attend the last day of school?" Liam asked.

"Permission granted." Carl said. "Jesus,guys. Your involuntary detox program is stinking up the whole house. It smells like afterbirth down there." Debbie said. "We still need $3,527 for tuition." Carl said.

"Look at you! The managerial apples fall close to the tree." Frank said as Brad walked into the kitchen. "Mornin." Brad said. "Let's go, Liam. Before he pours pathetic sauce all over us." Frank said.

"Have a good last day,Liam." Debbie said as Frank and Liam walked out of the kitchen. "Good luck at Lumber Lot,Frank." She said. "No luck needed,Debs." Frank said. "Oh,God!" Brad exclaimed as he fell to the ground.

Debbie quickly got up and saw Brad crying. "Jesus! Get it together,Loser. No one wants to see a grown man ugly-cry in his underwear. God." Debbie scoffed.

The twins walked down into the basement, and Carl grabbed a clipboard."We will now begin intake. When we get to you,state your name and your parents' net worth. In a loud and clear voice. " Carl said as the twins walked in front of the junkies.

"You first." Carla said, pointing to the junkie in front of them as a girl laughed. "Something funny?" Carl asked as they turned to the blonde girl, and they walked towards her.

"What is your name?" Carl asked. "Go fuck yourself." The blonde said. "What drugs are you on?" Carla asked. "Go fuck your mama." The blonde said. "What's the level of pain in your leg?" Carl asked as he gave Carla the clipboard he carried.

"Zero. I like it." The blonde said as she took a hit from the cigarette in her hand and blowed it in the twins' face.

~~

The twins walked back down into the basement. "In 72 hours,you will be free of your addiction. You're already in pain. You're already suffering. Questions?" Carl asked as the blonde girl named kassidi put her hand up.

"Yes?" Carl pointed at her. "Whar are you doing this for?" Kassidi asked. "Money." The twins said simultaneously. "From who? Who pays you?" Kassidi asked again. "Your grateful families." Carl said.

"That is the most bullshit business plan I've ever heard." Kassidi said as she stood up. "None of these junkies come from money. And thar one's wearing jeggings from Ross. They're just gonna stiff you, Corporal Carl, and.... Carla. How much do you need?" Kassidi asked.

"$3,527. First semester tuition at military school." Carla explained. A smile grew on Kassidi's face. "That's it?" She asked as she stepped closer to Carl. "With your charm and your....commanding voice,you could make thst in about an hour if you just apply yourself." Kassidi said.